It’s Plank Pullin’ time! The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye. Matthew 7:3-5 style.
I have a fantasy. In this fantasy, I carefully back up my blog, and then I delete the whole thing. Poof, gone from the internet forever. Then I delete my blog’s Facebook page, followed my personal page. And then I go on with my life, in my happy little non-connected bubble, never to write a single word about unschooling or parenting ever again.
And it’s not because I have privacy concerns, or because I’m burnt out, or because I particularly want to stop blogging. It’s because I find writing about what I write about to be very, very frustrating. Like, repeatedly-bang-my-head-into-the-wall frustrating. Although it’s actually not the writing so much as it is what comes afterwards. It’s always nice to get positive comments, and I’ve learned to (mostly) shrug off the negative ones. I love it when people comment who say, “You know what, I see where you’re coming from, and I understand what you’re saying… but I disagree.” No, what causes the head banging is the people who, despite my very best efforts at being clear and concise and detailed enough in my writing, COMPLETELY miss my point. The people whose comments make very clear that they don’t understand what it is I’ve just said. The people who want to argue or debate with me based on a false understanding of what unschooling or gentle parenting or freedom really is. And the fact is, I can’t have a discussion with you if we’re talking about two entirely different things. I try, repeatedly, and it just doesn’t work. It always makes me wonder if 1) I’m just a really terrible writer who can’t seem to make a whole, unified point, or 2) I’m speaking a language that only a select group of people can understand.
It makes me frustrated. It makes me grumpy. It makes me want to embody my petulant inner child, gather up my ball from the playground, and go home. They don’t understand. Last night – actually 4:00 this morning – I was tossing and turning thinking about, and very nearly woke up the husband just to complain to him. “They. don’t. get. it.” I didn’t, mind you (you’re welcome, honey) but I wanted to. It frustrates me that much.
But. The thing is, not everyone is going to get it. And I’m sure it’s very likely – certain even – that there is somewhere out there frustrated by MY lack of understanding about something.
“This Jen girl, man, she’s not hearing a word I’m saying, and it is driving me crazy.”
It’s just the way it goes. And I have to believe that I’m still writing for a reason. I have to. So I’ll remove my head from the wall, put on my big girl underwear, and deal with it.
Some people just.don’t.get.it…..It isn’t you hon, trust me. You are an excellent writer. I get those totally misunderstood comments too…
Thanks, Steph. 🙂 It’s just oh so frustrating…
I love my big girl underwear. 🙂
LOL! That was a totally unexpected comment, and it totally made me giggle. Thanks for that.
Your blog has been so inspirational to me and has really helped my relationship with my kids!
Thanks so much for those kind words. THAT’S why I keep writing. 🙂
I, for one, think you do a great job of getting your point across, and I am so glad that I found your blog, because you have inspired me to completely change my parenting style. So thank you! And as for the people that don’t seem to get it, who knows? Maybe you planted a seed that will eventually produce a change in their thinking. If they’re reading a blog about a subject that they don’t agree with, I tend to think it’s because deep down they’re searching for a different way of doing things, they’re just not ready to admit it to themselves yet. Keep being awesome!
Thank you so much, Michelle. And that is a nice thought about planting seeds. I like that!
You have certainly planted seeds in my heart!
<3
I’m wondering if some people just do not *want* to see your point? There will always be those people who just like to debate/argue a point. It’s fun for them. I always think it’s strange that people continue to read a blog or book or whatever that they completely disagree with…
Yes, I always say I just wish I had the free time to read things I don’t like… I don’t even have time to keep up with the blogs I DO like. I’m sure you’re probably right about some people not wanting to see my point. It’s the ones who aren’t disagreeing with what I’m saying, but disagreeing with what they THINK I’m saying that are so hard to deal with.
I agree with Michelle….It’s all about planting seeds 🙂
It might take them a loooooong time to sprout and some never will, but you’ve put those seeds out there to grow & thrive and some always do <3
Thanks 🙂
I need you to keep writting! Please! What you do for the least of these you do for Me! In reality, you do it for me and other moms like me who want so badly to be better because of the love they have for their children and need help getting better!