Note: This letter is hypothetical. The incident it describes is not. This happened two days ago.
Dear Sad Old Man at the Grocery Store,
You don’t know me, but we both shopped at the same grocery store the other night. I’m sure you didn’t notice me, as your attention was clearly elsewhere, but I couldn’t help but notice you. It’s difficult not to notice someone who’s so being so unhappy and hateful… but I guess I should go back to the beginning.
I was sort of unhappy myself that night, grumbling to myself about rising prices and lack of selection. It wasn’t my normal grocery store, the trip was taking twice as long as it should have, and I was tired and just wanted to go home. I was searching for the organic half and half when I first noticed the young couple next to me. They were holding hands and laughing over what I can only assume was the kind of inside joke that only couples share. They were sweet and affectionate with each other, and very clearly in love. They reminded me of my husband and I’s early days together, the days we like to joke that were “back when we loved each other.” They made me smile.
The fact that they were a gay couple was irrelevant.
I was right behind them, pushing my overfilled cart with the wobbly wheel as we left the dairy section. We rounded the corner of the aisle to head to the registers, and that’s when I saw you coming towards us. You didn’t look at me, didn’t even glance my way, so fixated you were on the couple in front of me. You had a look of disgust on your face, and at first I told myself that it wasn’t what it appeared. But then, as you passed, you looked them up and down, shook your head, and made an audible sound of revulsion.
I was mortified, heartbroken for these two strangers who’d done nothing but come to the store to pick up a few things for dinner. I don’t care if you disagree with their lifestyle. I don’t care if you think it’s wrong. I don’t care if you don’t like it. There’s a certain way of treating people, and That’s. Not. It.
I immediately felt sad for them, this young couple that I didn’t even know. What had they ever done to you to earn such a reaction? But the more I thought about it, the more sadness I felt for you. I wondered what had happened in your life for you to carry so much hatred and prejudice. I wondered if your reaction would have been the same if your son or your brother or your best friend announced he were gay. I wondered if you’d ever had anyone in your life who’d loved you unconditionally…. someone who stood beside you, and held your hand, and told you they would always, always have your back.
I felt sorry for the small way you were living your life, and I felt sad for your lost possibilities, your missed friendships, and your true potential for a full and rich and joyful existence.
You are hurting yourself, in ways I can’t even describe, and it doesn’t have to happen. I wish love for you, and healing… from whatever it is that is making you be so hurtful to others.
And finally, I’d like to thank you. In many ways it’s people like you who make me want to try harder. To be better. To be kinder. To be more accepting. To not give up. It’s people like you who remind me why I’m raising my kids the way that I am. Kids that know how to treat people. Kids that know how to love. Kids that know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that people – gay, straight, black, white – are all deserving of compassion and kindness.
And you know what? That couple? They were still happy when they walked out of that store. You didn’t break them. And you … you were still an angry, sad old man, whose actions only made you even sadder.
