Okay, don’t judge me. Sometimes I like to read celebrity news sites. Back in the day, I subscribed to both US Weekly and People, and I relished that little mid-week escape into the exploits and lives of the rich and the famous. I have long since let those subscriptions lapse, mainly because… well… busy mom, four kids, adult responsibilities = reading about the details of Demi and Ashton’s divorce doesn’t rank too highly on my list of priorities.
But, I do still occasionally find myself at the websites.
Last week, I saw a link titled, “Spotted: Zahara and Shiloh Get Playful with Paparazzi.” Since I still read enough about that stuff to be able to pick every celebrity baby out of a line-up to know who Zahara and Shiloh are, and since I like reading about families with lots of kids who’ve created a lifestyle around traveling the world, I clicked on it.
Here’s the thing: Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is a beautiful (and if her pictures are any indication, happy) little five year old girl, who likes to keep her hair short and dresses more like her brothers than her sisters. And for reasons that I absolutely fail to understand, it makes people crazy. This stranger, this child that they don’t even know, is getting attacked, over her… hair? Her clothes?
Some of the comments from the article above:
She could be such a pretty girl…
Why the short hair and boys clothes?!
she is expressing her feelings of wanted to be boy…..Angie should take her to a therapist that specializes in children with gender issues….and pray to God that every thing is going to be o.k.!
the way they let this girl dress is a joke. They really need to put their foot down on this one. They need to make her accept the fact that she is a girl,NOT A BOY. How long is this gonna go on…….
Why are they pushing that little GIRL to dress/look like a BOY??
Poor Shiloh!! Angelina RUINED her when she was just a newborn dressing her in boy’s clothes!! Shame on her!!
I don’t believe that Shiloh has that haircut or wears those clothes cause she wants. I don’t know ANY kid who wants to outstand from the rest. I think they don’t even know what to be different in a trend or chic way is.
The march of the freak parade. How sad for these children, who will know no other life but the freak existance these two self centered, self promoting people give them.
Now, some of this shouldn’t even be dignified with a response. To suggest that a child (a child you don’t know, at that) needs to see a therapist because of her clothes and hairstyle choices is ludicrous, at best. And the “freak” comment… I just included that one as a small sampling of how mean people can get over things like this. But the rest of it: Am I missing something? What on earth could possibly be wrong with letting your children innocently express themselves? To the person who said that she can’t believe a child would choose those things for herself, or want to stand out from the rest, I strongly beg to differ.
When given the freedom to do so, kids love to express themselves through their clothes, their hair, and their appearance in general. And they should! For some kids, it means constantly experimenting. For others, it means picking a look and sticking with it. Still others may say, “You know what? I don’t need to look ‘different’; I’m happy just being me.” I think part of our job as parents is to respect and honor that individuality, in whatever ways we can. Life is full of hard choices. Full. But not this one. This one’s easy. Your kid wants short hair, long hair, blue hair, shaved hair? Painted nails? Painted face? Temporary tattoos? A body decorated with markers or lipstick or mud? Mismatched clothes, boy clothes, girl clothes, black clothes, bright clothes?
Why the hell not, to any of the above?
It literally pains me to feel that I even have to say this out loud, but that stuff is just an outward expression. It doesn’t change who your child is. Everett is the same child he was before he embraced a purple mohawk. Spencer is the same person he was both before and after he cut off some 18 inches of long curly hair. I’m the same person I was before I pierced my nose. Or dreaded my hair. Or got tattoos. It completely befuddles me that in 2012 that people are still placing so much emphasis on outward appearances. Still placing so much judgment on outward appearances. Sadly, the public response to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt shows me that not only does it still exist, but that it is rampant.
Unfortunately, I can’t do anything about society. What I can do is make sure my kids know that they are free to express themselves. To make sure they know that others are free to express themselves too, that even when others make choices we wouldn’t make for ourselves, that it doesn’t mean those choices are bad or wrong. To make sure they know that you can’t ever judge a person simply by what’s on the outside. To make sure they know that differences are not just okay, but BEAUTIFUL:
Who wants to live in a world where everyone looks the same anyway? I know I don’t.
And I can’t help but think that if more kids – and adults – were given the freedom to truly be who they are, that there would be less people growing up feeling the need to lash out irrationally at five year old strangers on the internet.
LOVE the picture of Teegan covered in marker… mostly because V spends most of her life (as I’m sure you know from our park dates) covered head to toe in either marker or paint.
I love it too. 🙂 I thought she was growing out of it, because she seemed to take a break for awhile… but at the moment she too is head to toe marker. So apparently it hasn’t completely lost its luster.
Everybody conforms to something, it seems. It is just the nature of our conformity that is at issue. I would rather have blue hair, tattoos (because playful is fun) and a heart for Jesus.
Yes, good points.
I love the message! I think one of the greatest gifts we have is freedom of expression. I also love that my picture made your blog!
Thank you! I’m glad your picture made my blog too. 🙂 I loved looked through the pictures as I posted them…. every one of them brought a smile to my face!
Great article. I agree 100% 🙂
Christy
I can’t stand all the wrong kind of attention the Jolie-Pitt clan gets…drives me nutso. From where I stand, they seem like pretty cool people who just want to live their lives and do good work. What if that child is exploring gender? What’s wrong with that? What if appearance has little or nothing to do with gender? Then what? I’m so worn out from this bi-gender, anti-marriage-equality, biased country we live in. Wake up people!
And thank you for writing this. We need to evolve as a society…..
LOVE!!! Thank you for being brave enough to say what others won’t.
I showed the Jolie-Pitt picture to my 16yo daughter and the comments. Her response: “They are commenting on THAT?!? Why?” So I guess I’m doing something right! Of course for several years when they were pre-teens my DD and DS “switched hair” – his was ponytail length and hers was shaved short in the back so she was called “sir” and he was called “miss” in restaurants. It never seemed to bother either of them, they mostly took it in stride!
PS, I had my hair cut almost exactly like Shiloh’s in 2nd grade, when the “shag cut” was all the rage and all the girls were doing it! (And if you don’t remember how long ago that was, I’m not going to tell you!)
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Great post!
I loved all the pictures as well! My 6yo daughter and I had fun looking at them and commenting on how pretty and fun they all were! Thanks for sharing them!
Very well said. Love the photos too. I went to Costco around Christmas with my kids in their PJs. They are 4 and 6. My mom (who was manning the cart with kids while I ran around gathering things), overheard a couple of horrified women discussing the fact that “those poor children are in their pajamas! in public! Poor things… imagine the mother!” She said nothing to them, but told me. And, I thought, how sad for any children in their life. If you can’t be free to wear PJs in public when you’re a little kid, that’s just sad.
I love the crazy combinations of clothes that my kids pick, and think that pink hair and other unique expressions of personality are what make the world interesting. Creativity is the spice of life!