“Wouldn’t it be gross if we all washed our bodies in toilet water?”
“Can I read the dog a bed night story?”
“Sophie (our dog) can talk! She just said, “Can I have some meatloaf?”"
“Can your laugh box ever run out of laughs?”
“Her boobs are much bigger than yours.”
“If you call me that again, I’m going to have to deny it” ::: pause pause pause ::: “What does ‘deny it’ mean?”
“If there were a contest for the faster pooper, I would totally win.”
About an upset woman on TV: “I really think she just needs to chill.”