Tegan, 4 years and 10.5 months at the time of this writing (because I’m in denial about my last baby turning 5 soon) is awesome – says her unbiased mom. She’s smart and spunky and beautiful. But what really makes her awesome is the stuff that comes out of her mouth. Just a tiny sample of some of my favorites of late:

“Something extreme is going on here…..”

To the Chipmunks movie promo that told her to “shake her tail”: “But I don’t have a tail! I just have a cute little bottom!”

When I messed up one of her fingernails, during our weekly manicure: “It’s okay. It was an accident. It’s not your fault you’re not as smart as daddy.”

“I tooted twice last night in bed. Both on Daddy.”

“Your butt cheeks are bigger than mine, Mommy.”

“I’m so good at dancing, it’ll make your heart fall out of your brain.”

T, over a year after she potty-trained: “Mommy, can you buy me some Huggies?” Me: “What for?” T: “So I can have drier, happier mornings!”

After walking into the room with a huge scowl on her face: Me: “What’s the matter?” T: “What do you think??” Me: “I don’t know. That’s why I asked.” T, with a dramatic sigh: “Well…. I woke up this morning, and my hair was flat.”

And finally, just last night: “Mommy, how old will you be when I’m nine? About a hundred and sixty?”

I so love this child.