Friends, The Internet, and Finding My Soul Sisters

The first person I ever knew who met someone on the internet was my sister. It was the early 90’s, back when the internet was all new and scary, and actually meeting someone from the internet was akin to making yourself a date with an ax murderer, or at the very least, a weirdo.

So my sister was living with us at the time, and she was out super late one night. By the time we’d started to get worried, she was home, telling us about the coolest guy she’d ever met. They’d first started talking in an AOL chat room, and decided that they needed to meet in person. She hadn’t told us where she was going because she didn’t want us to 1) talk her out of it, or 2) warn her that he’d probably be, well, an ax murderer or a weirdo.

It could have ended badly. But, thankfully, he was not an ax murderer. Or a weirdo (although he did eventually become my brother-in-law, which is almost the same thing.)

Of course, since then I’ve known of countless people who’ve met their spouses, significant others, friends, even birth parents on the internet. These days, it’s downright commonplace. But back then? Back when my love affair with the internet first began? The idea that the internet, this veritable pool of knowledge and resources and information, could also be such a source of connection = Mind. Blown.

And it would turn out, especially as I was drawn to unschooling and gentle parenting and eventually to a whole variety of “hippie” ways, that the internet would be not just useful for making connections with other like-minded moms, but invaluable. It made me realize I wasn’t alone.  For the first time, I would find people who truly got it. People who understood. People who didn’t like me despite my “weirdness” but because of it. Yes, some of the best friends that I’ve ever made have matriculated from this same online tribe.

Last week, I got to spend five days with one such friend, when Jess visited from Michigan.  In many ways, we didn’t really do anything out of the ordinary.  We never made it to Sedona.  We didn’t step foot in the desert.  The only mountains I showed her were those we passed on the highway (and considering we drove around the entire east valley, we were on the highway a LOT)

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But we also laughed a lot.

We chatted a lot.

We ate good food, and drank good drinks, and went to Jamba Juice at least 3 times.

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And there’s just something… comforting… about being with a person who GETS YOU.

Someone who doesn’t think your dreadlocks are weird because she got hers six months before you did.

Someone who doesn’t question why you’d want a fourth tattoo, because she’s right beside you getting her second, and faithfully handing you lollipops for the entire grueling 3 hours.

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Someone who doesn’t think it’s at all unusual that you love God, but that you haven’t been to church regularly in more years than you can count.

Someone who you can be completely honest with, not just with certain parts of yourself, but with all the parts.

Someone who treats your non-stop, energetic, firecracker of a daughter (and all of your boys) as well as she treats her own kids.

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Something special indeed.

So while I have moments (and days and months) of pretty much loathing all things internet and social media – or at the very least, some of the people who know how to use them – as long as they keep bringing these people into my life, I will forever be indebted.

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5 Comments

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5 Responses to Friends, The Internet, and Finding My Soul Sisters

  1. amy

    oh i so know what you mean. the internet has seriously been invaluable for me in finding people who, you know, get me. it’s pretty amazing.

    • amy

      ha, and then it made me think of this other thing… because you just posted that introverts thing on fb. i’m totally an introvert too. so maybe the internet just works for us introverts to meet our people. not only are we finding people like us but we don’t actually have to leave our homes or talk to them until we are good and comfortable 🙂 so it works. and just let me add… i am so glad to have met you because, well, lots of that stuff in the post is me too.

      • Oh yes, there’s definitely a huge plus, as an introvert, to be able to meet people and get to know them without having to actually talk to them or leave the house until we’re ready. 🙂

  2. Kate

    Awww that’s awesome!!!!! I was involved with a fertility forum for almost 4 years and finally got to meet a bunch of them, I think maybe 12 of us came to the reunion and as one of us put it, it was like being in a permanent La Leche League meeting… it was so GREAT!!! I’m not apart of that forum anymore (part of that whole hating the time-suck-ness of the internet) but those memories will last forever.

    I’ve ALWAYS wanted to meet you ever since I read ummm basically your entire blog learning about unschooling. I’m not too far away so someday when we make a trip out that way we will HAVE to meet!!!!

  3. P. H. Pagani

    Love this post, It’s so true, Finding your *tribe* online is an amazing thing.

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