Day Two of the “blog every day in May” challenge:  Educate us on something you know a lot about or are good at.

So many things to choose from!!  Making cupcakes?  Dropping my cell phone?  Yoga?  Losing my car keys?  Doing fancy things to my fingernails?  Being an insomniac?  Listening?  Wiping runny noses and cleaning up spilled paint and glue and oil and glitter and vomit and …..

Surely any of the above could spawn at least a dozen blog posts.   But since my attention is currently on a blog challenge, all I can think about at the moment is …well, blogging.

So I give you my ever so humble list of things I wish someone had told me when I first decided to start a blog.

1.  Write what you know.  I always HATED that advice when I was a kid writing stories.  I mean, what if I wanted to write about flesh-eating zombies?  And surely writers like Stephen King and Dean Koontz didn’t get famous for writing about their real-life experiences.  But when it comes to blogging, I think this particularly piece of wisdom is sound.  Blogging is intimate and personal, and it only works when a person is being true to themselves.  Nothing turns me off from a blog faster than a person who is disingenuous.   Be honest, be candid… but above all, be yourself.

2.  Connect with your readers.  I’ve often heard it advised that it’s a good idea to end blog posts with a question, because it engages your readers, and encourages participation.  I have tried it on occasion, but it never felt right.  It didn’t feel like me (see #1), so I dropped it quickly.  I do however love – and see the importance in – connecting, sharing, and exchanging ideas on my Facebook page and through comments and emails.  Once you have people reading what you write, you make up a whole little tribe, whether there are 5 readers or 5,000.  Which is really really cool.  And the tribe needs to be tended to just like any other relationship.

3.  Connect with other bloggers.  Speaking of tribes, I am so grateful for my fellow mom bloggers!  I’ve been fortunate enough to get to know many of them, and they’ve been invaluable to me both as a blogger and as a human being.  They’re a huge source of support, ideas, and inspiration.   Not to mention, they’re some of the only people who are going to really get it when you get your feelings crushed by your first negative comment.  When you find other blogs you love:  show up, read, and comment.  Share their stuff.  Tell your friends.  Repeat.

4.  Don’t get hung up on numbers. For the first few years of this blog’s existence, I had about 13 regular readers.  I loved my 13 readers, and I still do.  🙂  The times when my reach has grown, it’s been completely organic.  A few kind someones appreciated something I posted, and passed it along.  That’s it.  I never did figure out WHY certain things “hit” and others don’t.   I do know though that it doesn’t matter.   A post isn’t more or less valuable just because it has been viewed by 50,000 people.  Your words aren’t more or less valuable than mine just because you have half as many or ten times as many views.  I personally think there’s a real danger in placing too much importance on growing your blog.  In fact it almost… grieves me… when I see a previously cool and unique little blog markedly change its focus, and start doing things specifically aimed at improving numbers.  The disingenuous thing I mentioned in point #1?  That comes through in a major way when blogs start to write/publish/share solely to increase their numbers instead of for the love of it, and it’s often the point at which I unfollow.

5.  Keep it simple.  Bright colors, light text on dark background, cluttered side-bars, and lots of flashy, blingy stuff is distracting.  If you want people to come back, keep it clean, simple, and easy to navigate.  And for the love of all that is good and holy do NOT have music that automatically plays on your page!  Yes, people can mute it (if they can figure out how) but very few people stick around long enough to do so.  For real.

6.  Be prepared for ugliness.  I was devastated the first time I got a nasty comment on one of my posts.  I was devastated the 12th time too.  And the 300th time.  I wish that I could say that it gets easier, but for me it hasn’t.  I will say though, that while I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy that aspect of blogging, I have accepted it.  It comes with the territory of “putting yourself out there”, and it’s something that I’ve learned to deal with.  I know that’s it’s not about me.  And it’s not about you, either.  It’s just that when you write – about absolutely anything – it opens you up to criticism.  To being called a terrible writer.  And a terrible mother.  And a terrible person.  With terrible children.  It opens you up to unkind words, unsolicited advice, and unwarranted hatred.  I don’t say this to discourage you though, because you also need to:

7.  Be prepared for beauty.  It never, ever fails.  I’ll be feeling misunderstood.  Unheard.  Discouraged and ready to quit.  I’ll want to delete my whole blog, never to share a single word again.   And then it comes:  an exquisitely timed kind and encouraging word in the form of an email, comment or Facebook message.  Often from a stranger, and always exactly what I need to hear at the exact moment that I need to hear it.  Those kind messages make it all worthwhile.  I know it sounds ridiculously cliched, but it’s true:  knowing even one person, somewhere, is somehow touched or helped or amused or moved by something I shared is the reason I keep writing.  So thank you.

8.  Write regularly.  Once a day, twice a week, once a month.  Pick something and hold yourself to it.  Daily blogging burns me out, but I’ve definitely found that if I go too long between posts, I lose my momentum, and the community that I spoke of in number two sort of gets stagnant.  Posting regularly gives you a sense of routine, AND it gives your readers some consistency.  One of my very favorite blogs (which has nothing to do with either unschooling or parenting) updates once a week, and I love knowing that I can count on a new post every Tuesday.

9.  Don’t be afraid of trying new things.  Giveaways, blog-hops, themes, reviews, videos, challenges… there are lots of cool things to try and do and play with when you need an infusion of something fresh.  Sometimes they’re a hit, and sometimes they flop.  🙂

10.  Take how-to advice (including this list) with a big grain of salt.  So you want to put on a fake persona, never connect with anyone, do everything in the book to explode your stats, and play Milli Vanilli’s greatest hits to everyone who comes to visit your page?  Go for it.  It all comes back around to point number one and being yourself.    When you stop being yourself and instead start following a checklist of ways to Make Your Blog Awesome, it shows.  To me, a blog is about being genuine, relatable, and real.  So while I like reading tips on blogging occasionally,  I take it all in, see what resonates, and leave the rest.  I break a lot of “rules”, and make no apologies.

As is so often the case, even when it comes to blogging:  outside the box, outside the norm, and off the beaten path…. that’s where all the magic happens.

P.S.  But please don’t make me listen to Milli Vanilli.