Ah, the negative parenting meme. Reinforcing stereotypes, giving in to the myth of the “spoiled child”, and keeping parents stuck in a cycle of further disconnect from their children.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Parenting can be positive. Joyful. It can come from an open place of love, not from a place of fear.
With that in mind, I took the liberty of making a few small changes:
“Giving our children
everything they wantas much as we can…. of our time, our attention, and the people, places, and things that make their lives fun, interesting, and colorful makes themdemandingfeel valued andungratefulloved. It creates a feeling of abundance for both parent and child. And they in turnneverlearn how to beself-controlledgenerous, and how to give freely of themselves to others, and in the future, to their own children. Think about this the next time you givein to a screaming child. a knee-jerk “no” to your child’s request.“
As parents we’re so often bombarded with the message of, “Your kids need to hear the word, “no!”” Well, I’m choosing differently. When it’s at all possible (and it is so very often possible) I’m saying “YES” … with no excuses, strings, or apologies.
I’ve never understood the idea put forth in the meme. It is technically impossible to ALWAYS give our children EVERYTHING. Life will naturally set limits on all of us. We all learn about “no”, boundaries, disappointments, etc. just from living life. Therefore, saying “yes” as much as we can, truly trying to meet a child’s needs, and seeking to help isn’t going to spoil anyone and it isn’t “giving in”. It’s a very illogical statement. Love your kids with kind actions folks. It’ll all be okay. Really!!!
Yes to saying yes more often!
They’re grown now… My personal philosophy was to say “yes” whenever I could and to save the “no” for when it had to be “no”. That way, when I said “no” and they would try to get me to change my mind (which any self respecting person would) then I could say this to them… “You know that I say yes whenever I can. So when I say no there is a really good reason and the reason is (fill in the blank). They would be disappointed but rarely would they continue to argue. It was just a respectful way to use yes and no.
May I put your new wording on a meme? <3
Of course! 🙂
Oh, thanks for this. I am so tired of being looked at as if i were crazy for saying that as long as I can, I will give my daughter anything she wants. We need to question our authoritarian upbringing, as painful as it may be, and do better by our kids. Loving IS wanting to please, to make our loved ones happy.