As is usually the case, it was a relief to simply talk about it, and I felt a little lighter as I went about the business at hand…. kids, conference planning, yoga, activities, errands, appointments and life. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.
Then, also about two weeks ago, my lingering shoulder pain took a hefty jump from a level of 2 to an 8. (If you’re not familiar with my long, boring shoulder saga, the very condensed version is: Hurt it in May, 2012. Did physical therapy, eventually had surgery in Nov 2012, had a LONG recovery, did more physical therapy, and…. it’s still not right)
I have been contemplating returning to a different doctor for another opinion since… well, pretty much since I had the initial surgery… but I’ve been putting it off, because life.
Over the past few days, the pain has gone from being reasonably well tempered by three ibuprofens, to barely being touched by Vicodin. I can’t get comfortable, can’t sleep, and as of this morning can barely move. I’m hopped up on pain killers, I could fall asleep any second, my house is a disaster, and I can barely string a coherent thought together.
And in a strange sort of way, it makes me want to laugh. Like truly, gleefully, joyfully belly laugh. Because I realized something this morning, in the midst of my boo-hooing:
I so very desperately needed to rest, and now I’m resting. Granted, curled up painfully and awkwardly on the couch in a drug-induced haze is not my preferred form of resting… but it’s resting nonetheless. I am stubborn (so stubborn), and sometimes us stubborn people need a swift kick to get the message. I consider this my kick.
The housework will wait. The errands will wait. Life will wait.
The kids are being sweet and helpful.
Netflix has my back.
My shoulder issues will eventually be sorted. Soon I’ll get back to a doctor. I’ll probably have another MRI. Maybe another ultrasound. Possibly medications. Likely more physical therapy. Perhaps additional surgeries.
But today…. today I just rest.