Early this morning, a man named Omar Mateen, 29, entered Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, and started shooting.  He ultimately murdered 50 people and wounded at least 50 more, in what was the deadliest mass shooting in the United States, and the worst terror attack on American soil since 9/11.

I, like the rest of my fellow Americans, am horrified and heartbroken at this devastating loss.  I am sending love to the victims, their families, and all their loved ones, as well as to all the people who experienced the terror of the attack first-hand, and those who now live in even more fear (people who live in far more fear than anyone should ever have to live in to begin with.)

It is senseless and devastating and scary, and it is a time to mourn.  It is NOT a time to add to the culture of violence by perpetuating more hate.  I’ve already seen it, spreading through Facebook like a cancer.  Hate towards religions.  Hate towards certain political leanings.  Hate towards people who disagree with our policies… policies about guns, and immigrants, and things that have nothing to do with the fact that one person chose to do a horrible, horrible thing for horrible, horrible reasons.  So much hate, and at time when love and kindness and compassion are more important than they’ve ever been.

I think about it as a parent, about the helpless feeling of living in a world that’s gone sort of mad.  And I don’t know what the answer is.  I don’t.  What I do know is that if change is ever going to happen, it needs to start with us.  It needs to start in our own homes.

We need to show our kids what love and inclusion and tolerance actually look like.

We need to teach our kids to stand up to hatred and bigotry.

We need to explain to our kids the damage that phrases like, “Love the sinner, hate the sin”, and “I disagree with the ‘lifestyle’ but…” really do to this already maligned segment of society.

We need to teach our kids about respect.  Respect for self, respect for people around them, respect for personal choices… even choices that may seem strange or weird or different.

We need to talk openly with our kids about differences in gender, in gender identity, in sexual orientation, in sexual expression… even if it makes us uncomfortable.

We need to talk to our kids about appropriate and inappropriate terms, respecting individuals’ chosen terminology, and making a conscious effort to honor preferred pronouns.

We need to teach our children to love deeply, love without conditions, and love without agenda.

We need to teach our children that redirected hatred is still hatred, and that hatred is never the answer.

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Sending so much love to all the victims, and to everyone affected by the tragedy in Orlando.

If you would like to donate money to help the victims and families of this shooting, you can contribute financially on their GoFundMe page here.