Why I’m A Natural Health Dropout

pexels-photo-68563

I used to be very adamantly against pharmaceuticals.  I remember after the birth of my first son – 19 years ago – they offered me Tylenol with codeine and I declined.   Then they wanted me to take a stool softener, and I declined that too.   I was kind of obnoxious about it too, now that I think about it.  I didn’t need that stuff.  I had my supplements and my herbs (and if essential oils were as big a thing back then as they are now, I’m sure I would have used those too). I had my ideals.  I had my self-righteous resolve.

Over the next several years, I would spend a lot of time studying, reading about, and learning about natural health and nutrition.  I took several courses, and I earned a handful of certificates.  I was passionate and motivated and… have I mentioned obnoxious yet?

And then I got gall stones… in a gall bladder that eventually got inflamed and infected.  Then I got gall stones lodged in my bile duct.  Then I got pancreatitis.  Then I needed surgery.  Next was kidney stones, followed by hydronephrosis and a stent.  A couple of years later, it was two rather painful shoulder surgeries in as many years, one involving detaching my bicep and reattaching it on a different spot on my bone, held in place with a permanent metal screw.

Suffice it to say, I made my peace with allopathic medicine.

Over that tricky six year period, there were narcotics, there were muscle relaxants, there were antibiotics, there were anti-emetics, there were sleep aids.  Last year I tried, and eventually rejected, a medication prescribed for suspected fibromyalgia.  It’s not that I’m proud to say I took all of that… but I’m not ashamed of it either.  I made informed decisions, I took what I needed, and I took it all responsibly. At the time of this writing, I’m taking a mood stabilizer (which is making a world of difference for me) and am in the process of carefully weaning myself off of a benzodiazepine, prescribed during an acute time of crisis when I began treatment for bipolar disorder.  I’m not ashamed of that either.

And the thing is, I never abandoned anything I learned when I studied natural health.  In fact, having bipolar and wanting to get well has necessitated my paying more attention to it than ever before.  I absolutely understand the importance of nutrition.  I know how inextricably our stress levels are tied to our health.  I’m exercising, six days a week.  I’m taking a careful supplement regimen, designed with the help of my doctor.  I’m meditating daily.  I’m not drinking any alcohol.  I’m using essential oils, for all kinds of things.   I’m working hard to develop better sleep patterns (even giving up watching TV in bed, one of my favorite things, in an effort to create healthier habits).  Self-care and natural health are wonderful things indeed.

But there’s a balance.

I don’t think I truly understood that balance until I went through my own health crises, and to an even greater extent until I was met with my former self, again and again, in the form of people whose version of “help” included chastising me for my choices.  There was the one who messaged me after my second shoulder surgery, not to offer up a “get well soon” but to lecture me about the dangers of prescription painkillers.   There was the one who, after I’d already had my gall bladder removed, told me why I should never have done it, and how I should have just healed it naturally instead.  There were the countless others, who no matter what the issue, were convinced that I just needed to take more supplements/get better sleep/eat more whole foods/take more walks in the sunshine.  I saw in real time the black and white thinking to which I myself had once subscribed.   I saw the danger of, and felt the sting of, polarity.  I saw how many people tried to shame me (and who continue to try to shame me) for not taking a solely natural approach.

I saw judgment – So. Much. Judgment. – from family members to friends to strangers alike.

That’s the natural health movement that leaves me with a bitter taste in my mouth.  That’s the natural health movement that I no longer want to be a part of.

I can’t help but wonder what would happen if we just trusted one another to make informed decisions.  To learn not just about treating disease but about maintaining health.  To weigh the pros and cons of all our options.  To educate ourselves about natural remedies and pharmaceuticals both.  To learn about risks of side effects versus possible benefits.  To respect that my path to health is different from your path is different to your best friend’s neighbor’s path.  To completely remove shame from the equation. 

And if you ever have to have your bicep drilled back into your humerus, I hope that your recovery goes as smoothly as possible.  I hope that you’re given all your options to control the pain, and that you make the choice that best works for you…. whether it’s a steady regimen of Vicodin or a thrice-daily walking meditation session in a sunny meadow.

I promise not to judge you either way.

(Visited 80 times, 1 visits today)

5 Comments

Filed under about me, health, natural health, nutrition

5 Responses to Why I’m A Natural Health Dropout

  1. Abby

    I like the concept of natural most of the time but have worked on trying to find a balance between “natural” and pharma. I remind myself that the world changed on a dime when penicillin was first prescribed and that arsenic is natural (but that doesn’t mean I should take it). I don’t beat myself up when I get something from the drug store. There are moments when what they offer is better/faster/more complete and when I am in pain, that is what matters – my health.

    I think of you and your blog. My thoughts are with you and the loved ones in your life.

  2. Josh

    Wow, that sure rings my bell! I have been reading your blog for years and never reacted but this is so what I have encountered too. I have been told and accused of so many things that I should do or should not do since I have this live treathening auto immune disease, it is strange. This peaceful natural health people can be very aggressive in their rightiousness. Take care dear Jennifer, and I wish you just the best.

  3. renee

    I fully hear what you are saying. I to have informed myself of the pros and cons of the food we eat. I have made great changes, (half the plate veggies, a bit of carbs and a bit of meat), and I too have read a bunch of the benefits of essential oils. But, I recall when my son was born, and I was unable to breastfeed. That was the worst stress ever! not being able to feed my own son. I was heart broken. Not only that, but I was getting “You should’s…” from all angles, especially a family member. She stated “just put him on every hour on the hour”. (my son took an hour to nurse, and when he was weighted at the clinic he got about an ounze of breast milk, UGH!). I had to come to terms that all I could do was part time nursing, and the rest forumla. Once I had come to terms with that, and stand up for myself, I was able to move on.
    I say, so long as we are informed of pros and cons, and make a decision for ourselves, in our own best interest, that is what counts.

  4. I did answer
    One of your posts on Facebook once – and Imight have come across as judgemental. I didn’t mean to and I am really sorry if I did. I am trying to find a balance too – but more the other way… I used to work in the medical industry, and the last years there I worked with psychotropics. I was ALL about allopathic medicine and didn’t believe the alternative one bit. Then my son became ill with allergies and the Dr’s didn’t help and I had to research everything myself. Lost all trust in Doctors… But I still don’t trust the alternative practitioners very much either (so much of what they say is entirely hocus pocus …). So I can only trust myself. If you decide that you need an operation, then you need an operation, and if you need psychotropics, then you need them – maybe you need them just to be able to breathe enough to find something better, maybe you need them for a while, maybe forever – who knows. I know people who look at me oddly ehen I say that cortical steroids were the only thing that helped us, untill my sons skin was healed enough for him to be tested for his allergies… And that I gave him sedative anti-histamines to make him sleep – otherwise he would scratch himself to bleed before he would pass out at 3 in the morning from exhaustion… But I could not research anything if neither he nor I slept – and he could not heal if he never slept. Sometimes you need to survive ❤️

    • jen

      Oh no worries at all. I know that most people have good intentions, I really do. And holy moly on the hocus pocus stuff. When I went through a bunch of medical stuff last year, they eventually decided it must be fibro and/or chronic fatigue syndrome, and wanted to send me to this alternative specialist. I read reviews about him, and the guy sounded CRAZY. He got horrible reviews. He literally diagnosed people (desperate, sick, vulnerable people who were at the end of their ropes) with illnesses that he said were so new they didn’t have names yet… because he just discovered them in his lab. ??? And then he charged them jillions of dollars for fancy supplements and natural remedies. It gives me the heeby jeebies just thinking about it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.