Category Archives: birthdays

To Spencer, Who Taught Me How to Love

Even the butterflies love you

Even the butterflies love you

Seventeen years ago today:  I woke up a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend.  I went to bed that night as a mom…. forever impacted, forever changed.  The following letter is to Spencer on his 17th birthday.  The one who taught me what it meant to be a mother.  The one who really taught me – and continues to teach me, in so very many different ways – what it means to love.

 

So 17 years.  It sounds like such a long time, and yet just as the cliche goes… it’s gone by in the blink of an eye.  It really does seem like yesterday that you were that adorable little toddler, with your cute little glasses and ready smile and ever-present toy tractor in your hand.  You were such an absolute joy.  So happy and carefree, so much fun to be around.

You still are.

Your teenage self is every bit as wonderful as a companion as your toddler self.  You are kind, and smart, and funny, and have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know.  I think of watching you over the past year, of having the privilege of seeing you mature into a young man.  Seeing your relationships grow, your knowledge expand, your understanding of the world around you deepen.

I think of your surgery… the same exact shoulder surgery that knocked me flat. out. for so many weeks in so many ways… surgery that you handled like a freaking rock star. Everyone said it was because of the difference in our ages (and sure, that likely played a part), but so much more than that was YOU, and your positive attitude.  I never saw you complain, not once.  I never saw you feel sorry for yourself, as much as I knew you were itching to get back out to working on your engines.  You never doubted for a second that you’d heal completely, and quickly.  Like crazy quickly.

I think of the day that I screwed up.  The day that I didn’t handle a conversation the way that I should I have, and went to bed feeling bad and yucky and off-kilter because of it.  I knew that if I didn’t get up and apologize to you, I’d never get to sleep that night.

You were already asleep when I went into your room.  “Spencer,”  I whispered, before I kissed you on the forehead.  “Spencer, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry.  And that I love you.”

I don’t think you even opened your eyes.  But you smiled, and told me, “It’s okay.  I love you too.”

And that right there is the biggest lesson that you teach me, over and over.  When someone apologizes, you forgive.  When you accidentally hurt someone else, you apologize.  When you love someone you just love them.  Completely and unconditionally.  I’ve never seen you hold a grudge, not for a second.  Never seen you play games with emotions, never seen you turn on a friend.  Your loyalty is real, and it’s inspiring.

I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Happy, happy birthday, Spencer.  I hope you have a great time with your girlfriend today, and I can’t wait to go out to dinner with you tonight.

I thank God every day that I get to be your mom.

 

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40 For 40

Today, I turn 40.

 

This is 40

This is 40


I haven’t done New Year’s resolutions for a long time (although some of what follows will definitely sound resolution-ish) but I do so love a list of goals.  This year, as I approached 40 and my brain started tickling with all the new things I wanted to experience this year, I decided that a “40 for 40” list was in order.

It’s a year of celebrating me.  Of self-care.  Of creativity.  Of honoring the 40 years I’ve been on this planet.  40 years is a long time, and yet…. God willing, sooo much life still ahead of me! So much to do and see and try and taste and experience.

40 is also the year that I let go of the last few holds of perfectionism.  The need to DO ALL THE THINGS, and do them all “right.”  To that end, if I don’t do something on the list, it’s okay!  If I decide I don’t want to do something after all, that’s okay too. Maybe it’ll get added to the 41 for 41 list.  Or maybe it’ll get replaced with something even better.  I have no doubt that it will all work out exactly the way it’s supposed to.

And without further ado, my list (and my commentary):

 

  1. Start gauging my earsMainly because it’s just something I always wanted to try.  So I did, a week ago today.  I’m a tiny little 14 gauge right now, and plan to go up to 0.
  2. Get another tattooThat’s done too!  Thanks to my lovely friend Erika coming to visit at the last minute. Tattoos are always better when you go with a buddy!  It made tattoo #5.
  3. Take a karate class Another thing I always wanted to do.  My class started on Wednesday.  It is fun and fast paced, and so much harder than I thought it would be!  It made me feel so clumsy and uncoordinated, it’s amazing I can put my own pants on in the morning.  I was telling my sister, who is taking the class with me, that it’s a good thing I waited till now to take it.  The old me would have been too intimidated, too embarrassed to go back after my muddled first attempt… but the current me is shouting, “YEAH!  A challenge!!”  I can’t wait to learn more!
  4. Go back to school – I’ve taken various classes over the past several years, took a nutrition program, earned my RYT to teach yoga, etc.  Earning a degree has never held any importance for me (and it still doesn’t), but ASU recently expanded their online offerings, and I found something called Healthy Lifestyle Coaching which combines fitness, nutrition, yoga, anatomy… all those things I get super geeked about, all in one major. And well, given the fact that I get a ridiculous discount since Mike works for them, I just couldn’t NOT do it.
  5. Put on a successful conference I’m not gonna lie.  I’m nervous.  Possibly as nervous as I’ve ever been about anything.
  6. Draw something.  Hang it on my wall.  – I took art classes all through high school, and a few in college.  I liked painting, but I loved drawing and sketching.  Pencil, charcoal, pen and ink… loved.  I’ve missed it.
  7. Knit a project from start to finish – I taught myself to knit a few years ago, but got bored before I actually completed anything.  Thought it’d be fun to pick it up again.
  8. Get back into doing a handstand – even if it’s against a wall.  My shoulder’s ready. And, 
  9. Learn the scorpion pose – They worked on this a bit when I was in my teacher training a year and a half ago, but my shoulder injury dictated that I sit it out.  🙁  Fast forward through surgery, and a L O N G recovery, and I was never able to work on it.  I’m ready for that now, too.
  10. Sit down at the piano, and practice and learn a new song  –  One song, any song. And not just the intro.
  11. Get back down to my drivers license weight – Okay, so, I am the first person to tell you to ignore the scale, don’t focus on numbers… that you should gauge your progress by how you feel, how strong you are, how your clothes fit, etc.  But.  There’s something powerful about having a specific, concrete goal (such as do x number of pushups, or run x number of miles) rather than a general, “get healthy.”  Well, too many pushups blow out my shoulder.  I only run when chased.   But I can control my weight.   Some of the 20 or so pounds I’ve put on over the past few years are due to a changing metabolism for sure… but much was also due to injury, depression, less activity, ::cough:: too much alcohol, and just plain not taking care of myself the way I should.  I won’t beat myself up about the past.  My body has – mostly – served me well exactly the way it is. But I’m ready to do something else with it now.
  12. Finish my parenting book  – It’s time.
  13. Take myself on a date to the movies – Once upon a time, I would have been way too self-conscious and embarrassed to do something like that by myself.  But last year, I accompanied Mike on a trip to Chicago for business, and needed to keep myself occupied when he was busy at his conference.  I went to two movies by myself, and I LOVED IT. Seriously loved it. Like, “Why on earth haven’t I been doing this all along??” loved it.  So I need to do it again.
  14. Spend an afternoon drinking coffee and wandering around Barnes and Noble – Because books.  And coffee.
  15. Re-read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – I was in my early 20’s the first time I read it, and am curious how my 40 year old self will relate in comparison.
  16. Read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking – I’ve only fully embraced my introvert self in the past few years, and have been recommended this book over and over.
  17. Read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Just because everyone’s always shocked that I’ve never read it. So I put it on my “see what the fuss is about” list.
  18. Paint a picture – Hang it on the wall, with my drawing.
  19. Take an overnight trip by myself – I just need to decide who I’m going to visit!
  20. Take an aerial silk class – Because it’s awesome
  21. Learn how to make a really good homemade pad thai – Because it’s delicious
  22. Get some new eye makeup and learn how to use it –  I’m 40, and have no idea how to use makeup.  I’ve been a mascara and lipgloss girl forever, if I can be bothered to use that much.
  23. Spend a day at the zoo, just to take pictures – my favorite place to play with the zoom
  24. Get rid of all my clothes I don’t love/don’t fit – My drawers are stuffed, and I wear just a few favorite things.  This makes no sense?
  25. Hike at least 20 new spots in the valley – It’s sort of criminal that I live here, surrounded by all these great views and hiking trails, and I barely venture out of the house unless it’s in the truck to go off-roading. And, bonus, this is one my family can enjoy with me.
  26. Make a blogging schedule, and stick to it… whether it’s once a week, every day, etc – I try to give up blogging sometimes, but it keeps calling me back…
  27. *Don’t* do Nano, and feel good about skipping it – For the past 4 years, November has meant I was writing like a crazy woman, trying to get in my 50,000 word novel before the month ended. I loved it and hated it and got a lot out of it… but this year I’m focused on other things.
  28. Go to a concert – Christina Perri is coming to Tempe.  I’m a little bit obsessed with her.
  29. Sew something – Finish it.
  30. Make myself a chain mail necklace and/or bracelet – So far I’ve only made them as gifts, but I really love doing it.
  31. Aim to do yoga *every* day… but feel no guilt if I skip it – I need to do this if I’m going to be successful at #8 and #9
  32. Go back to a paper planner, and do this with it. –  I’m on week two so far, and loving it!
  33. Actually cook/bake/create some of the things I’ve pinned on Pinterest – Because there’s too many cool/delicious/fun things on there to let them just languish away on the interwebs.
  34. Get Melt: The Art of Macaroni and Cheese and work my way through it  – Don’t care that’s it’s all carbs and dairy.  Sigh. Garrett of Vanilla Garlic.  I’m a little bit obsessed with him too.  
  35. Get some Earth Boxes and grow some vegetables.  Try not to kill them – I’m sadly the only one in the family who was not blessed with a green thumb.  I kill Christmas cactuses.  I kill things that are supposed to be impossible to kill.  I’m not going to get crazy, but surely maybe I can grow some tomatoes.
  36. Do the purging challenge at least for one month http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ – DO IT.
  37. Take the Personal Trainer test – I’ve had the book for at least a couple of years now.  I just need to study it.
  38. Find a really perfect pair of jeans and a really perfect hoodie – Everyone should have jeans and a hoodie that they really love and feel great in.  I don’t currently have any that fit that criteria.  🙁
  39. Ditto for a skirt – I’m not a skirt person.  But I think it’d be fun to be one sometimes.
  40. Pay off one credit card – Because, ugh.  Enough already.

 

And there’s my list.  Phew.  I can’t wait to cross the next thing off!  Happy birthday to me.

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Filed under about me, birthdays, dreams, goals, learning, life, random, self image

Front Doors, Turning 40, and My Goals for the New Year

frontdoor

 

This is my front door.  It’s still bearing its little dollar store wreath, and it’s still surrounded with Christmas lights. With life being… well, life… they will likely still be there in April.

Why am I taking pictures of my door?

Well, I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t do New Year’s themes, or choose a word or intention for the year either (another thing that seems really popular).  My love affair with lists however, remains unabated and strong. I’m turning 40 soon.  In 8 days in fact.   And as I was adding to my growing list of things I wanted to do/try/start this year, in honor of turning 40, it occurred to me that what I really needed to do was to make my list exactly 40 items long…. one for each year I’ve been alive.  And thus my “40 for 40” list was born.

I will share the list in its entirety soon, but today I wanted to share just one thing.

I decided to participate in this planner/art journal/creativity challenge called The Documented Life Project (want to join me?  It’s not too late!) and the first week’s creative prompt was door-related.  I’m still waiting on my Moleskine book from Amazon, so I can’t draw, sketch, ruminate about my door in there.  So I’m sharing it here instead.

Most meaningful front door of my life.  I “found myself” behind this door.  We brought home the child that would complete our family through this door.  We started a whole new life for ourselves in Arizona behind this door.

I’m going to turn 40 behind this door.

Doors, opportunities, and adventures.  Happy New Year!

 

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Teens. And then there were two.

Today is Paxton’s birthday.

 jenandpaxton

I love my kids’ birthdays, because they give me a chance to unabashedly wallow in nostalgia… to re-live every last little detail of the day I met them.  That goes for all my kids, but Paxton’s birth especially was just so.. so.. perfect.  It really was perfect.  I was 8 centimeters dilated by the time we got to the hospital, he was born less than half an hour later, and he was put straight up on my chest.  None of this weighing, checking, wrapping business. Just me, my husband, and our baby.  It was lovely.

And then he started screaming.  Oh the screaming!  Even the nurses commented on his “healthy lungs.”  I remember the one time I let them convince me to take him to the nursery for awhile so I could rest (I would make a difference choice now),  I could hear him wailing – loudly – the entire length of the hall as they wheeled him back to us.  “Oh you’ve got a night owl here!” the nurse told us with a wink.

She wasn’t kidding.

He barely slept for the next 3 years, and he displayed exactly two emotions:  utter glee and goofiness, and really pissed off. There was seldom anything in between.  He wore his heart on his sleeve, and while it exhausted me at times, I loved that about him.  He was passionate, and strong, and confident, and so uniquely different from his big brother.

The ironic part?  That boy, the one who screamed for the first quarter of his life, is now the most laid-back teenager you’d ever hope to meet.   That’s right, today Paxton turns 13, officially making me the mother of two teenagers.

I wrote about having teenagers a couple months ago, and while the response was mostly positive, it made a few (vocal) people cranky.  It seems that daring to have a good relationship with your teens – and then having the audacity to write about it – comes across as a personal affront to some people.  I’ve learned that a subset of the people who read my blog only want me to be honest when it comes to the messy, and ugly, and difficult.  They’d rather celebrate my failures than my happiness, because it makes them feel better.   What a sad commentary. And you know what?  I’m not going to apologize for having a good relationship with my teens.  I’m not.  Because I do have a good relationship with my teens.  I do love having teens.  And THAT is something that’s worth celebrating.  There are awesome and notable things about all ages, for sure, but there’s just something really… cool about teenagers.  They’re fun (in an entirely different way than playing cars and coloring with the little ones is fun).  They’re interesting.  They have great perspectives.  

But I digress.

So Paxton is thirteen.  And as I said, ridiculously laid-back.  He’s also funny, and kind, and a gifted writer, and a kick-ass guitar player.  He’s by far the biggest introvert of all four kids, which means that 1) he’s most at home when he’s in his little man-cave on his computer, and 2) I can relate to him in a way that I can’t relate to the others.  We’re often joking about venturing out where “all the people are,” and I know he gets it.   He’s also inherited from me the clumsiness that comes from a long line of Vogels… although I prefer to think of it as “spatially creative.”   The similarity ends there though, as he loves computers, video games, math, and brain teas-y type puzzles … the kind of things that make my brain explode.  He’s a loyal friend (like, fiercely loyal), a patient big brother, and honestly has a stronger sense of self at 13 than I ever had until I was in my 30’s.  He knows who he is, and is not afraid of it.

He’s one of my favorite people on this planet to hang out with, chat with, and laugh with.   He’s made me a better mother, a better person, and a better friend.

Paxton, you’re awesome, and I’m so glad I get to be your mom.

Love,  Mom

P.S.  Sorry your cupcakes sank.  

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Nine Moments

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Yesterday, the amazing Everett turned nine.  Unfortunately, he spent a portion of his day at the pediatrician’s, getting diagnosed with pink eye.   He’s already on the mend today, and enjoying a lazy day before his party this weekend.   In honor of his nine beautiful years, here are nine happy Everett moments from the past year:

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Showing his strength on our 4-day trek through the Mojave desert last spring. I love this picture because 1) it’s just very Everett, and 2) it’s when he had his hair bleached blond.

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Last summer, when he learned to become a confident swimmer.

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Being a model, and guinea pig, for Mom and Dad’s fledgling air-brush tattoo business

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Enjoying the beach at the Wide Sky Days conference in San Diego

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Ha. Goofing off on a toilet during a game at a fall festival.

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SNOW! Flagstaff over Christmas.

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“Life must be lived as play.” ~ Plato

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Tegan’s birthday party at their gymnastics school… one of his favorite places

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Supporting his big brother, Spencer, at the 2013 Walk for Children With Apraxia of Speech. Last weekend.

Happy, happy birthday, Everett.  Thank you for another year of love and laughter.   I’m so thankful I get to be your mom, and your friend.

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The Engine and the Caboose

Spencer and Tegan’s birthdays are 3 days apart.  Well, 11 years and 3 days.  In the past, I’ve found that stressful, because 1)  I find birthdays a little bit stressful to begin with, and 2) it meant twice as much planning, twice as much baking, twice as much money….

This year though, I realized for the first time how incredibly fitting it is that we get to celebrate them both in the same week:  Spencer, the one who made us a mother and a father.  The one who took us from just a couple to a family.  The one who taught us what it meant to love another person so completely, so intensely, so ferociously.  The one who showed us what we wanted to do and who we wanted to be as parents.  The one who brought us more joy, more heartbreak, and more pride than we’d ever experienced before.  The one who forged the way for his three younger siblings, and the one who continues to lead the way with courage and passion and tenacity.   When Spencer was born, we ceased to be who we’d been before, and we became something entirely new… something brighter, and something stronger.

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And Tegan, the one who completed our family.  The one who showed us the new joys and experiences of having a girl after three boys.  The girl we never knew we always wanted.  The one who almost wasn’t.  The one who made her presence so strongly known even before she was conceived.  The one who made me know, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that someone was still missing from our family.  The one who made me sob to my husband, “You don’t understand.  If we don’t have another baby, I will regret it for the rest of my life.  Someone is STILL MISSING.”  The one who continues to teach me so much about love, about life, and about myself.  The one who reminds me to play, to smile, and to live every moment as if it were my last.  The one who has brought us so much joy and laughter in five short years.    So much joy!

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The one who started our little family, and the one who completed it.

Our engine and our caboose.

I love them both more than words could ever adequately express, and I thank God every day that I’m lucky enough to be their mom.

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Coloring Outside the Lines

I’m on the cusp of …. something. That feeling that you get when you’re at the very top of the hill of the roller coaster? That agonizing anticipation when you know the big drop is coming but you don’t know when…. that split second before you descend, when your body is torn between squealing with exhilaration and throwing up? Lately I’ve felt that way all the time. I’ve been on the brink of tears (sometimes happy, sometimes sad) ever since the last little bit of Christmas was packed away. I’ve been jumpy. Distracted. And when I say distracted: My normal attention span is that of a overtired toddler. Eating an ice cream cone. At Disneyland. On the fourth of July. So when I say I’m distracted, I’m reeaalllly distracted.

I’ve been preoccupied with a health scare that still could very well turn out to be nothing. I’ve been scratching my head over a disturbingly rapid succession of things failing on us… first Mike’s truck – twice – then the dropped juicer, then the clothes dryer. I almost wince when I so much as plug in the coffee maker. My blog got hacked (AGAIN), this time so badly that my host actually disabled it until I went in and fixed all the damaged files. I ended up having to completely start it from scratch.

I need to call a surgeon to make an appointment for a consultation for Spencer’s shoulder.
I need to call my surgeon to reschedule my next follow-up.
I need to email my physical therapist a copy of the prescription from my doctor because I forgot to bring it to my last session.
I need to cancel Directv before we get charged for another month.
I need to bring the clothes in from the line.
I need to clean the bathroom.
I need to get the kids to gymnastics.

I need. To. Breathe.

My birthday was last week. Have I mentioned that? Somewhere in the middle of the dislocated shoulders and doctor’s appointments and broken down cars, I turned 39. I actually had a really lovely and uneventful day (ie: nothing broke). I made myself some out-of-this-world chocolate stout cupcakes with whiskey ganache filling, and Baileys cream cheese frosting, and Mike made me a huge and perfect Cobb salad for dinner, my current I-could-eat-it-every-day-and-never-get-sick-of-it favorite food. And my sister, because she possesses that sixth-sister-sense that lets her know exactly what I need even before I know it myself, came over with a gift the same day the dryer died:

wreckjournalI’ve been a fan of journaling since forever. But my journals have always been… neat. Orderly, with perfect penmanship, written with the perfect pen. This journal is like the anti-Jen-journal journal, with instructions to break the spine, step on it, drag it, cut it, rip it, splatter it, doodle on it, poke holes through it, shower with it. It has pages for when you’re angry, pages for when you’re happy, pages for when you’re feeling creative.

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Are you freaking kidding me?? Best. Gift. Ever.

I suppose there’s a time for neat and orderly.   But – and my apologies to my husband who is neat and orderly all the time – this aint it.  For reasons that aren’t yet clear to me, I’m getting stretched right now.  And pushed, and pulled, and dragged, and dirty.   I’m so far out of my comfort zone that I don’t even see it anymore.   And on the days that are hard or scary or uncomfortable I’ll just remind myself that outside that comfort zone… in the land where it’s okay to spill and break book spines and write illegibly… that’s where all the magic happens.

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12 Awesome Things

Twelve years ago today, I went into labor with my fabulous second son.  It was the one labor of the four that unfolded even better than we could have planned.  It was fast, quiet, and peaceful.  Just us and the midwife.   He had lots of red hair, and a hearty scream.  I held him for a long time straight after he was born… no weighing, no scooping him away to deal with any issues, no interference.  Mike cut the cord.

It doesn’t seem right that he’s only 12.   In the past six months, he seems to have gone from kid to teen overnight.  He’s more mature than some adults I know, his voice is as deep as his father’s, he’s about 3 inches taller than me, and most of his friends are teens.  But alas, it’s true.  Today Paxton turns 12.   In honor of his birthday, twelve things you should know:

1.  He’s funny.  Oh this child.  Where Spencer’s humor tends to run towards the corny, Paxton’s is dry and understated, and he has a huge penchant for sarcasm.  I can joke with him in an entirely different way than I joke with the others.  What can I say?  He’s a smart @ss, and I love that about him. 

2.  He’s smart.  He has his dad’s head for numbers for sure, and is able to do complex calculations in his head that I struggle with even on paper.  He is amazing at just about any game he tries, and is a genius when it comes to computers.  He can also carry on conversations that you’d think would be eons beyond a 12-year-old (see above about seeming older than 12)  He’s our first child that was truly given the ultimate freedom to live and learn in his own way.  Spencer was too, but when he was little, we were still gaining our sea legs as parents and unschoolers.   By the time Paxton had come along, we fully trusted.  And he has blown us away

3.  He’s adventurous.  He’s always the first to fearlessly explore the giant rocks in the desert, climb to the top of the mountain, or squeeze himself into the crevasse of the cave.

4.  He has a big heart.  One of my favorite Paxton memories is from shortly after we moved to Arizona.  Our next door neighbors were having a yard sale, and he walked over and used his own quarter to buy his then-toddler little brother a stuffed Barney that he knew he’d love.  He has the same giving heart now, almost 7 years later.  This is a kid that would give you the shirt off his back.

5.  He’s true to who he is.  I never worry that he’s going to get himself mixed up in the wrong thing, be swayed by disingenuous friends, or follow the crowd if they go against his own sense of right and wrong.  He knows who he is, and he’s not afraid it.  A tiny example?  He doesn’t like shorts.  He lives in Phoenix, and doesn’t like shorts, so he wears jeans twelve months out of the year.  He is always true to who he is, in both small things and large.  And I love that about him too.

6.  He’s crazy.  So yes, most of the time, I forget that he’s only 12.  But then he plays with his 8-year-old brother.  I hear the yells, and the screams, and the wild-boy shenanigans.  I smile.  Oh yes, he’s also still a normal and crazy and fun-loving kid.

7.  He’s a homebody.  Our biggest introvert by far, he is happiest when he’s home on his computer.  In fact, I’d venture to say that his favorite part of the day is after midnight, when the rest of the house sleeps.  He has time, peace, and quiet to himself, and he recharges.  It’s something I can very much relate to, and I admire that he honors that part of himself instead of trying to fit into someone else’s ideas about what he should be doing instead.

8.  He’s independent.  The independence he has possessed his whole life is almost scary (in the best possible way!).  From teaching himself what he wants to know, to choosing to spend time on his own, to cooking his own food, he’s been an old soul almost from the time he was born.  A few months ago, he broke his ankle playing basketball.  While I hated that he was hurt, I selfishly enjoyed his recovery… because it meant that for those weeks, he needed his mom again in a way he hadn’t needed me for a long time.  We watched movies, we looked things up on YouTube, he practiced his card tricks.  I so appreciated the extra time we spent together, just as I appreciate the fact that he’s a strong and independent kid who’s well on his way to growing up.

9. He’s an excellent writer.  I’m biased (both as a mom and as a writer) but I love his writing style!  He started a blog about gaming back in January, and while he only wrote a few posts, I loved the peek into his head.

10.  He’s fun.  What a blast to be around this kid.  A couple weeks ago, we were all out shopping, and Tegan had tired of wearing the huge sparkly crown she’d put on before we’d left the house.  It was her birthday crown, and it said something like, “I’m The Birthday Girl,” with a big number 4 on it.   She handed it to me when we were at Goodwill, and I put it on Paxton’s head.  He happily – and unabashedly – wore it the rest of the day, including out to dinner.  Just because.

11.  He’s determined.  He has planned out not only his entire future gaming career, but exactly what he needs to do to get there.  And I don’t doubt for a second that he can do it. 

12.  He’s accepting of others.  I’ve saved this for last because it’s possibly my favorite one.   Just as he’s true to himself, he wants others to be true to themselves as well.  He accepts people exactly as they are, and he doesn’t make decisions based on superficial things.   We were talking about bullying once in the car (we seem to have our deepest discussions in the car), and him, Spencer and I were discussing the news story of  another gay teen who’d been so severely bullied that he’d ended up committing suicide.   “I don’t understand why people are mean to gay kids,” he told me.  “It wouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference to me if one of my friends was gay.”  And he means that.  And he lives by it.  Gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor…  To him, they’re all just people, and potential friends.

Happy 12th birthday, Paxton!  I love you, and I’m so proud to be able to call you my son.

 

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Eight Awesome Things

Eight years ago today,  after a scary labor and delivery, we were blessed with our third beautiful boy.  In honor of his eight years, here are eight things (in no particular order) that I just adore about Everett:

1.  His laugh.  You know how some kids just naturally have a deep, soulful, belly laugh that just sort of bubbles out of them?  The kind that when you hear it, you can’t help but feel happy yourself?  That’s Everett.

2.  His enthusiasm for trying new things.  He loves, I mean he loves, to try new things.   New sports, new hobbies, new field trips, new people, new places.  Sign him up.  He’s currently our busiest kid, between guitar lessons, Cub Scouts, gymnastics, basketball… and all the other things he’s teaching himself in between.

3.  His personal style.   Pink mohawk.  Purple mohawk.  Green mohawk.  Bleached mohawk.  He rocks them all, with more confidence than most adults I know.

4.  His loyalty to his friends.  He’s had the same best friend for years, and if it were legal for 8 year old boys to marry, I’m pretty sure there would have been a wedding by now.  It doesn’t stop him from making other friends though, and once you’ve befriended him (which is not a hard thing to do) you’ve a friend for life.

5.  His adaptability.  Changes in plans never rattle him.  He has the ability to flow with the circumstances better than just about anyone else I know.  When we go to a Friday park day, and I don’t see someone I know well, I panic a little inside.  Not Everett.  He happily runs off with whatever kids happen to be there.  If he doesn’t know them?  No problem.  He makes new friends.

6.  His positive attitude.  He went an entire season and a half playing basketball without making a basket during a game.   Not once did it get him down.  When the subject came up, he was undeterred, simply saying, “As long as I keep throwing it up there, eventually it’ll go in!”  And it did.  This season, he’s scored several times.

7.  His freckles.  Yeah, I know it’s superficial, but I’m in love with his freckles.  He gets so many comments on his eyes (and he really does have absolutely beautiful blue eyes) but it’s that smattering of freckles that does me in.

8.  His love of magic.  Not just the David Copperfield type of magic – though he loves that too, currently more than ever – but the magic of LIFE.  At eight, he’s still so full of wonder,  so appreciative of dreams and mystery and miracles and beauty.  I don’t just love that about him, I admire it.  It’s something so many of us could learn from!

Happy Birthday sweet Everett.   You are AWESOME, and I am so proud to be able to call you my son.

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Four Awesome Things

Four years ago today (four years!) my life was forever changed for the better yet again, when I was blessed to become a mom to a little girl for the very first time.  Tegan has brought so very much to our family, and our lives, and I couldn’t imagine this world without her.  Here are the top four things that make her the wonderful, unique, and amazing person that she is.

1.  She is beautiful.  I’m not talking about the big brown eyes and the long curly hair either.  She has a beautiful soul, and a kind, loving heart.  She walks into a room, and it lights up.  She radiates.  She shines.  She sparkles.  She is simply beautiful, inside and out.

2.  She is funny.  Very, very few people make me laugh as hard as this girl.  Period.  Whether she’s making up a silly song, performing a one-woman play into the bathroom mirror, or bursting out into a full-on belly laugh because she woke herself from a deep sleep by passing gas, she is one of the most naturally funny people I know.

3.  She is confident.  I talk a lot on my blog about being true to yourself.  Tegan doesn’t need to learn how to do that.  She knows who she is.  This is a girl who will go to the store in two different neon socks, a loud polka dot skirt, striped tights, a Tinkerbell pajama top, fairy wings, a string of pearls, and marker all over her face.  She not only pulls it off, but she ROCKS IT.  She is perfectly, authentically, 100% Tegan, and proud of it.

4.  She’s creative.  She turns our tile floor into hot lava, our living room into a castle, and a stick into a fairy wand.  She transforms herself into Dora, me into a flying dragon, and her brothers into zombies.  She whips up her own special blends of tea, and coffee, and smoothies, and dinner in her little kitchen.   She weaves stories of adventure, and humor, and intrigue, and heart.

And my life is sweeter from of all of the above.

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