Category Archives: holidays

May 8, 2011 · 7:00 AM

14 Things

I have been a mother for 14 years.  To celebrate my 14 years of motherhood, here are fourteen (of many) things I love about MY mother.  I wouldn’t be the mother – or the person – that I am if it were not for her.

My Mom and my Spencer

1.  She is beautiful, inside and out.

2.  She’s a klutz, just like me.  No really, that’s a good thing.  It’s important not to feel alone.

3.  She loves to learn new things, and try new things, and isn’t afraid to jump in with both feet each and every time.

4.  She is the best cook I know.  Her apple pie is beyond compare.

5.  She drops everything and comes running when I have gall bladder problems.  And kidney problems.  And babies.

6.  She’s supportive of my choice to homeschool… or at the very least, she keeps any negative opinions to herself

7.  She raised me to have deep appreciation for good chocolate, good wine, good coffee, and God (not necessarily in that order)

8.  Once when I had a really, really bad day in high school, she let me take the next day off as a “mental health” day.

9.  She came to every concert, every recital, every play, and every sporting event… even if I was sitting on the bench the whole game.

10.  She moved across an entire country to be nearer to her children and her grandchildren.

11.  She made me wine glasses with elephants etched on them.

12.  She left me with a lifetime supply of inside jokes, funny memories, and crazy family stories.

13.  She treats my husband like her own son, and has done so ever since the first day I brought him home 20 years ago.

14.  She treats my kids with patience, kindness, and respect.  She gets down on the floor and plays with them, which is far and away more important to me than any of the above.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  I love you more than you know.  And Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the mothers out there, and especially to those mothers whose babies are no longer with them, and to those mothers who are still waiting for their babies to arrive.   I am thinking of all of you today.

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Filed under about me, family, holidays, memories

April 25, 2011 · 10:44 AM

Good Enough

A confession, if I may:

I have a sort of ongoing, internal struggle when it comes to perfectionism. In the moment, I’m okay with unpredictability. I’m cool with things not going according to plan. I’ve built an entire lifestyle (and an entire blog) around appreciating life’s detours… which aren’t always pretty, and aren’t always perfect. There is still beauty to be found, even in the imperfections. I know this. I know this.

So I must be a slow learner. Because I still get hung up on details. I still worry about things turning out the way they’re “supposed to.” (And really, who can decide how things are supposed to turn out?) I still lay awake at night double-checking everything in mind, especially when it comes to things like holidays. And birthdays. And Tuesdays. Did I do everything I should’ve done? Should I have done something differently? Would the kids be happy?

It’s exhausting and unnecessary.

Yesterday was Easter.
It was not perfect.
But it was wonderful.
And wonderful was good enough.

It all started with the eggs. I really wanted to dye eggs naturally this year. I even found links for dying naturally, and shared them on Facebook (you’re welcome). But I didn’t use them. I used the very UNnatural kit that’s been in the cupboard – from months ago, when our neighbors brought it over when they were moving and cleaning out their kitchen. That’s what the kids wanted to use, and we already had it, and we didn’t have any extra money to buy the ingredients for natural dying anyway.

So egg dying looked like this this year:

It wasn’t what I’d wanted, but it was good enough. The kids were happy, and that makes me happy.

But then there were the baskets! Talk about an internal struggle… over something so completely silly. Spencer and Paxton are old enough that they’re not interested in the standard fare of things like bubbles and stickers, but I wanted to think of something that’d be fun for them. I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on cheap little toys that’d end up buried in a toy bin in a couple of days, but I wanted them all to have some cool surprises. I definitely didn’t want to fill a basket with hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and other artificial junk, but I didn’t want them to miss out on some of their favorites (which they have so infrequently anyway). And I didn’t have the budget for the healthier alternatives.

But, but, but. I have friends that manage to do it… manage to make holidays natural and healthy and perfect and wonderful. Manage to have lovely days with pressed kids in their Easter finest heading happily off to church. Why can’t I do it? And there’s that perfectionism. There’s that taking myself too seriously, and stressing myself out with trying to do everything *right.* Wasn’t I just berating my sixteen year old self for doing that very thing??

So I took a big, huge breath.

The baskets (which were filled with totally unhealthy chocolate, and a couple small and carefully chosen gifts) were not perfect, but they were good enough. And they made all four kids very happy.

Everyone was bathed and clean, but Tegan didn’t want me to even touch her hair. So it wasn’t as nice and cascading as I would have liked. She also had a rip in the back of her pretty dress – the only one she wanted to wear – that resisted all our best efforts to repair/hide/cover it.

Her and Everett were both over-tired from getting up too early, and had a hard time sitting through church. That was my daughter you heard saying, “I’m done with this. The singing’s too loud,” before her dad whisked her away to play outside.

But it was okay. It was all okay. It was in fact more than okay, because after the baskets, after the egg hunts, after church, we all went to my sister’s and spent the day hanging out with family… playing, eating, laughing, and remembering – once again – what’s important (and what’s not)

And when we finally went home, tired, stuffed, and spent, all four kids declared it the “best Easter they’ve ever had.”  And it was.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than I could have planned, even without vegetable dyed eggs and all-natural chocolate.  Even without rip-free dresses (which she of course ditched once she got to my sister’s house anyway)  Even without tangle-free hair.  And I certainly couldn’t have planned the excitement that this would bring:

I don’t know why I ever worry beforehand. I really don’t. Yesterday, like every day, was not perfect. But it was perfectly imperfect. And it was lovely, and it was joy-filled. And that is – and forever will be – good enough for me.

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Filed under being happy with what is, family, holidays

February 11, 2011 · 3:36 PM

My Ode to Valentine’s Day

I sort of hate Valentine’s Day. Not with quite the amount of passion that I hate it when people text when they drive, or use apostrophes when they pluralize their family name… but I hate it all the same.

Even as a kid, I remember the anxiety I’d feel over those Valentines parties at school… having to have a perfectly decorated box, and picking the right cards, and comparing and analyzing what the cute boy that both myself and my best friend had a crush on wrote on our valentines. It was nerve-wracking.

And in high school, they always sold carnations on Valentine’s Day. People would buy them for their significant others (or their crushes, or their pawns in making other people jealous) Then a big deal would be made about delivering said carnations to students during their classes. A lovely and exciting thing if you were one of the people receiving a carnation. I never was. If I did have a boyfriend, we were broken up by the time February rolled around. My junior year, I actually had a boyfriend in February, and as silly as it was, I was excited to think that I’d get a carnation on Valentine’s Day. I would get to be the one to ooh and ahh over my beautiful carnation and my thoughtful boyfriend while the rest of the class waited to see if they too, were going to experience the thrill of that artificially dyed flower and crinkly paper.  My excitement was short-lived however, as he broke up with me ON Valentine’s Day.

I will always remember that afternoon in French class, when my teacher was calling on students to ask them what they were doing for their valentine.  And when he called on me, I had the distinct honor of being the only one to have to answer:

Je n’ai pas Valentin.

That was the year that I officially swore off the holiday forever. (Yes, Mike W, you were the one who ruined me for the most romantic holiday of the year. For the rest of my life.) I’m kidding. Kind of. But oh how that high school drama hurt at the time!

The following summer, of course, I would meet my now husband. I have had the same “valentine” now for 20 years. And to his credit, when we were newly together and he was still “wooing” me, he did get me flowers and chocolate and sweet little nothings on Valentine’s Day. One year, after we were married but before we had kids, he even booked a special weekend away as a surprise.

But I still hate Valentine’s Day. I do. I’m the Valentine’s version of Scrooge. Going in to the grocery store right now makes my skin crawl…. all the balloons and pinks and hearts and flowers and cards… It’s so commercialized and driven by money and just… icky. My biggest objection though is just the fact that it’s a specific day set aside to tell people that we love them, to be sweet and kind and giving because it’s Valentine’s Day. Shouldn’t we be doing those things anyway? Whatever happened to a gift of chocolate on a Tuesday, in the middle of June? Wouldn’t it mean so much more then, when it’s “just because”? Why not send your loved ones nice notes any random old time that you’re thinking of them? Why not get your best friend (or your husband or your child) that present that you know they’ll love now, instead of waiting for Valentine’s Day, or Christmas, or their birthday? Why not surprise your spouse with a fancy candlelit dinner in the middle of the week, on March 17th, just because you want to?

It should be noted that because I don’t want to pass my anti-Valentine bias onto the kids, we don’t completely ignore it. They’ve participated in many a Valentine party, and I never pass up an excuse (any excuse) to try a new cupcake recipe. But I just think there’s something odd, and silly at best, to a holiday that’s devoted to love and romance, and a sentiment that should be part of our lives year-round.

Or maybe I’m still bitter about those darn carnations.

Either way, I’m greatly looking forward to the 15th.

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Filed under about me, holidays, random

December 31, 2010 · 10:35 AM

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

We pulled it off.

After a rather odd and stressful week leading up to Christmas, with kids with fevers and husbands with bronchitis, and missed Christmas Eve services, and last minute trips to buy new sleeper couches … it all somehow came together. I had my lingering doubts right up until 9:00 the night before Christmas, but then it was there: that moment when all is right with the world, that moment when life is fuzzy and warm and we’re all together and the kids are happy (at the same time!) When no one’s worried about to-do lists or expectations or stresses; when life is just about the holiday, about being together, and about celebrating.

And it was good.

Christmas day was busy and fun, as were the days that followed.

And just like that, another year is over.  I noticed in my online wanderings this morning that lots of bloggers were honoring the end of the year with a list of the “best of the best”, sort of a round-up of their top – or most interesting or most noticed or most read – posts for the year.  Never one to miss a party (at least the virtual kind where I don’t have to actually be social and talk to people), here is mine.

Best wishes for a healthy, happy, prosperous, and peace-filled 2011.

My Future Street Sweepers

Teens and Toddlers

He Who Spareth the 1/4 Inch Plumbing Supply Line 

Harry Potter, Hiking Shoes, and Vacations

Condemnation 

My friend is one… who take me for what I am

Discipline

It’s that time of year again, folks

Attachment Parenting:  Freedom and Joy

Offensive, defined

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Filed under Christmas, holidays, New Years

July 7, 2010 · 8:39 AM

The Land of the Free

I was in a mood on the fourth of July. For 364 days of the year, I don’t think about New Hampshire… it never enters my consciousness at all. But on the fourth of the July, I miss our tiny NH town and its holiday festivities. I don’t even know if it’s the actual town I miss, so much as it is the idea of it… the whole All-American, baseball-and-apple-pie, small town goodness of it all. We’d watch the parade (and the kids would happily scramble to catch us much candy as they could, tossed from the passing floats), walk through the vendors eating our hot dogs and cotton candy, and return later in the evening to claim our spot on the hill to watch the fireworks overhead.

There were of course lots of various places to watch fireworks around the valley, as well as celebrations, parades, and concerts… but we’ve never been before, they were sure to be crowded, a lot of them cost money, and many were far away.

So we spent the greater part of the morning of the 4th sitting – and occasionally moping – around, trying to decide what to do. As exciting as that was, we really didn’t want to spend the entire long weekend doing it. So at the last minute, we called Mom and Dad and invited ourselves up north. They can watch fireworks right from their driveway, and because they’re far away, the noise is not an issue (an important consideration for a 2 year old’s first fireworks experience). We watched the fireworks, spent the night, and ended up having a beautiful day driving and geocaching in the Mogollon Rim, the likes of which we couldn’t have experienced in Andover, New Hampshire.

All in all, an unexpectedly nice weekend, and a really lovely holiday.

Dressed for bed and ready for the fireworks:

Camping on Maba’s floor:

I was about to write that this had nothing to do with Independence Day… then realized it had everything to do with Independence Day.  Paxton and Everett trying on their great grandfather’s custom-made Navy dress blues from World War II.  I miss him, and wish the kids could have known him.

Mogollon Rim, another beautiful corner of the world:

Happy Fourth of July to all.

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Filed under adventures, family, holidays

March 17, 2010 · 6:11 PM

I’m not Irish

I’m German, so I started and ended my St Patrick’s Day with German apple coffee cake, not corned beef or cabbage or beer. The girl however, is fully in touch with her 1/4 Irish heritage.

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Filed under holidays, Tegan

December 4, 2009 · 6:58 PM

Professor Plum did it


Day 4 – Have a board game night

The boys picked Clue, something they haven’t played in ages, and decided they wanted to play with Daddy. Since Tegan’s idea of board games is still to grab the pieces and either throw them or run away with them as fast as she can, she and I went to Blockbuster to rent a movie, and ooohed and ahhhhed over everyone’s Christmas lights.

It’s a beautiful night, and a beautiful season (except for the man screaming obscenities at the woman who accidentally cut him off in the video store parking lot. Merry Christmas to him.)

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Filed under Christmas, holidays

April 14, 2009 · 1:18 PM

Easter

Like every other major holiday lately, Easter completely snuck up on us. And, like every other weekend lately, it was a busy but joy-filled few days. The boys enjoyed coloring eggs, and even Tegan joined in on the fun with a little marker.







We ultimately ended up throwing out all two dozen eggs, because their age was a little questionable, and Mike felt “off” after he ate one… but no one minded. The fun was in the coloring and the hunting.

We went to Easter services on Saturday night – just us and 4,000 other members. It was the second of 5 weekend services, and they were all expected to be filled to capacity. It was awesome! Since we’ve been going to this church, we’ve gotten many negative comments – some veiled, some not-so-veiled – about its size. I’m not sure what it is that people find so (Off-putting? Scary? Objectionable?) about large churches, or why they assume that a large church can’t be intimate or warm or inviting. I love our church, and I love its services. I come away feeling touched and inspired every week, and Easter was no exception.

We were up early – early early – on Easter morning, because the boys were excited to get to their basket. We got dressed up again and joined Mom and Dad at their church for services too. I missed most of the sermon though because I was in the nursery with Tegan. Yes, that was my daughter you heard happily screaming “Dada Dada Dada!!! Lalalalalalalala!” while you tried to listen to the minister’s heartfelt lesson.

We spent the afternoon at Mom and Dad’s, my favorite way to spend any holiday. Good company, good food, good times.







Happy Easter, and a blessed Spring, to all.

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Filed under holidays

January 2, 2005 · 4:28 PM

Happy New Year

Spencer and Paxton tried really hard to stay up for New Years, but they both only made it till around 10:30. We decided to just stay home for the holiday, and it was really nice. Mike and I rented a few movies, stayed up till 2:00 AM, and for the first time I can remember, didn’t even watch the ball drop on tv. On New Year’s Day we went to a party at my Aunt and Uncle’s house, and we all had a great time. The boys all had belated Christmas presents to open, they played Foosball, played on the computer, and otherwise just mingled happily. We got home at 9:00, and while they didn’t stay up till midnight on New Year’s Eve, they did stay up till midnight on New Years Day! Still on an emotional high from the party, they played a few rounds of Paxton’s new game, Mr Mouth, watched some tv shows they had on tivo, and kept us company while we did some more bidding on dvd’s on ebay. It was after 12 when we all finally went up to bed. The boys are still raring to go, but I am feeling rather droopy! Mike is getting our new (used) computer ready to go today, and we promised Spencer that we’d all play his new game, Cranium Cadoo. We have a busy week coming up, with Cub Scouts and homeschool group both starting back up after the holiday vacation, but it’ll be nice to get back into a somewhat normal rhythym again. I always get very excited in January…. I love the idea of a new year, fresh starts, and new possibilities. The New Year always makes me try just a little bit harder, whether it’s learning a new skill, or having more patience in a difficult situation. That’s one thing I’d like to pass on to my boys.

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Filed under holidays, Uncategorized

December 30, 2004 · 2:10 PM

Forgotten presents

Yesterday as I was playing with the boys, it occurred to me that there was a Christmas present that no one ever opened, and that I couldn’t even remember wrapping. I searched my bedroom closet – our not-so creative hiding place that’ll need to change when the kids are a little older – and sure enough, it had been left in there. It’s a game I ordered from a speech company that I found when Spencer was still in therapy. We had SO much fun with it! You draw cards from 3 different decks (nouns, verbs, prepositions) and make sentences. Such a simple but great idea. The sentences often turn out to be very silly, and I loved seeing the boys cracking up over say, an iceskater skidding headfirst down an escalator. We played it off and on all day, and I was ultimately glad that we hadn’t given it to them on Christmas, as it would have just gotten lost in the shuffle. We also took down the Christmas tree, and started packing away all the ornaments and decorations. I really didn’t want to do it yet, but after it was knocked over (by the dog) for the 3rd time in as many days, I figured it was time. I don’t enjoy this part of the holiday, but I do enjoy reclaiming the house! Besides, having the Christmas tree out of the living room leaves more space for the boys’ new racetrack, now a permanent fixture on our carpet.

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Filed under holidays