Barbies, and the Girls Who Love Them

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I grew up playing with Barbies.  In fact, some of my favorite childhood memories involve being out in the yard with my sister, with nothing but a big bin of Barbies and our imaginations.  These were not dainty, sedentary Barbies either.  These were badass Barbies.  We’d create these elaborate and far-flung adventures for all of them, complete with homemade planes, boats, and parachutes.  Sigh.  Oh the parachutes.  We’d get them all suited up, climb to the roof of the barn, and with a count of three and a squeal of anticipation, we’d launch them as hard as we could.  Then we watched as they ideally floated  – but sometimes plummeted –  to the ground below.  We’d then scramble down, assess any damage, and do it all over again.   If anyone was injured (and it was known to happen.. apparently Barbies aren’t designed to withstand being thrown off of roofs), we’d duck tape em back together.   My favorite Barbie had a makeshift neck brace, which is a polite way of saying I’d taped her head back together, for her final jump.  After that, she retired.

Yes, happy memories of playing with Barbies indeed.  And not once, in all the years and all the afternoons and all the hours of playing with Barbies, did I ever think,

“Man, do I wish I had her rockin’ body.”

When I asked recently on my Facebook page if there were any toys you didn’t allow in your home, Barbie’s name came up again and again.

She’s too gender-specific.

She promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy body image.

She wears too much makeup.

Her clothes are too “slutty.”  This one bothers me the most of all, because 1) It assumes that how one dresses (a toy, at that) is an indicator of her sexual behavior, which is unfair at best, and 2)  It’s projecting a negative, adult stereotype onto something that is meant for children.

In fact, all of the above statements are observations made through adult and prejudiced eyes.  Kids don’t see it that way unless they learn it from us!  When un-jaded children look at toys (and life) they see beauty.  They see potential.  They see adventure.  They see fun.

They do not see a scantily clad, heavily made up, unnaturally thin Barbie who’s obviously spending way too much time counting her carbs and canoodling with GI Joe.

My daughter loves her Barbies.  They’re often on the floor, resting after their latest adventure.  Right now they’re in her room alongside her ponies, babies, books, rocks, sticks, pine cones, feathers, and other treasures.  They’re not scary.  They’re not harmful.  They’re no more or less than another avenue to play and imagination and fantasy.  She likes to change their clothes and pretend that they’re going out to a concert.  Or to someone’s house for a party.  Or to the beach.  Or on a road trip.

Her play is innocent, and sweet, and yes, child-like.  She plays like she doesn’t care about the things that us adults are all hung up on, because she doesn’t.   She doesn’t question the fact that Barbie’s legs go up to her armpits.  She doesn’t make snap negative judgments about things like makeup and short skirts and bra size.  She doesn’t stress out about things like body image. Will that come later?  I don’t know.  I hope not.  I pray not.  My hope for my daughter, for all my children, is that they keep the same self-love they have right now.  That they know that beauty and strength and intelligence come in a myriad of packages…. none more right nor admirable nor desirable than the other.

When I play Barbies with Tegan, the play is never unnaturally focused on their appearance.  Yes, she likes to dress them up and do their hair the same way she enjoys doing those things herself.  But once they’re ready for their day, it’s about the fun. Like her mom so many years before, she uses her Barbies as a gateway to adventure.  The last time we played, Everett joined in too.  She assigned us both a Barbie, and happily announced, “They’re going to go camping now!”

And my heart swelled.  Surely sky-diving can’t be far behind.

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6 Comments

Filed under parenting, self image, Tegan

6 Responses to Barbies, and the Girls Who Love Them

  1. karen Lynne

    Jenn, I couldn’t agree more. One of my small bedrooms is the “barbie room” My oldest daughter will be 15 in two weeks, and still plays with my nine year old. Honestly, the creations they design for Barbie are amazing. She at one time had a ski lift going from the door handle to a chair. And at Christmas had a tree and lights around her townhouse. It makes me sad when I hear “Barbie is not a good role model for a girl”. She has brought about more imaginative play for my girls than any other toys they have. Oh, and I am dating myself here…they have my old barbies and use the Cheryl Ladd and Marie Osmond.

  2. They say the same thing about Disney princesses and how that destroy’s a girls’ ideas about relationships and men. Hmm – my 7 year old daughter would like to disagree. She doesn’t perceive a difference between watching/playing Belle or Cinderella than she does watching Bilbo and Thorin Oakenshield. She loves adventure and fantasy – and all of the above are included in that.

    I think what started making me feel self concious about my body image and looks were the teen mags in high school (and teens in high school) that had all those quizzes and were always giving you “tips” on how to make boys like you and how to look more like a supermodel. But I also didn’t have any real adult influence in my life to encourage me and guide me through that. My girls know that they can come to me with questions – and we talk about tv shows and movies all the time.

    I do think they should make a suit of armor Barbie, or a ninja Barbie, or some other things that my girls like and it would be awesome to see. But my girls like playing Barbies, legos, whatever. I don’t see people saying that legos promote violence and war.

  3. Meegs

    I too have very fond memories of playing with my Barbies. While I’m not going to go out of my way to introduce them to my daughter, if Gwen wants them, I’m certainly not opposed to giving them to her.

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