This post was written by a dear friend of mine who wished to remain anonymous.  I don’t think we can ask for a more powerful reminder not to make assumptions, and to have compassion for all.  This “You’re so judgmental” knee-jerk reaction has GOT TO STOP.  We need to stop. Listen. HEAR people.  Really see the person behind the words.  We *all* have a story. 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.”

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You labeled me judgmental and accused me of not being in a place to know what it’s like to be a single black mom raising a child on her own. You accused me of being insensitive of her struggles and the fear and desperation she must be experiencing right now.

The irony is that you judged me. You took one look at the color of my skin and my “upper-middle-class” status and dismissed my comments as being from an entitled-ivory-tower-mother looking down on another mother.

Except… you’re the one that’s assuming. You’re the one who is judging what you don’t know.

I am that boy.

I know what it’s like being raised by a single mother. I know what it’s like living on assistance in Section 8 housing. I know what it’s like to not see your mother for days on end because she’s working nights. I know what it’s like when you finally see your mother and she’s utterly exhausted from working a job and going to school. I know what it’s like to have your mother use the minuscule amount of energy that she has left to violently deal with the behavior you’re exhibiting simply because your life is unstable.

I know what it’s like to be repeatedly struck across the face. I know what it’s like to be hit with a shoe. I know what it’s like to be hit with a hairbrush.

I know that it’s pointless to tell anyone at school because they have beaten me too. I know what it’s like to be told to bend over and grab the desk for “acting out” or “being disruptive” because I have so much to say and no one is listening.

I know what it’s like to beat up other children because they made me angry. Because I learned that “might makes right”. The best way to get someone to behave the way you want them to is to make them hurt until they comply.

I know what it’s like to destroy property. Yes, probably “for fun”, but also because I just want someone else to hurt the way I hurt.

I am that boy and I’m pleading with you to stop encouraging my mother to beat me. I’m begging you to equip her with the parenting tools to lift me up. I’m asking for you to see ME in all of this.”