But What Will You Tell The Children?

I just recently learned that Drag Queen Story Hour is a thing. It’s exactly what it sounds like: people dressed in drag reading stories to children at libraries, bookstores, and schools. I haven’t really thought about it long enough to have an opinion about it (and my kids are all well past story time hour age). But it did make me think of Provincetown.

If you’re not aware, Provincetown – also dubbed P-Town – is a tourist town on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. It’s known for, well, tourists, as well as its high population of local and visiting LGBTQ folks. We actually ran into our favorite bank teller there once, back when we still did our banking inside an actual bank. He was a very sweet gay man named Eric, and he was there with a friend or partner. We said a mutually surprised and friendly hello (doesn’t it feel weird when you run into people outside of your normal environment of interaction??) and all went on our merry way.

Anyway, growing up on the east coast, we went to Cape Cod fairly often, and always spent at least one evening strolling around Provincetown. It was the best place to go for salt water taffy, and it was fun perusing all the different shops selling everything you didn’t know you always needed.

One year, we were staying there with a bunch of extended family, and as we were about to embark on our customary trip down to P Town, the question was asked, “What are you going to tell the kids??” Meaning, what were we going to tell the kids about all the LGBTQ people, and/or people in drag that we were going to see.

First, let me say that parents tend to way over-complicate this question. It’s a very easy thing to say, “Those two men are holding hands because they love each other, just like your dad and I love each other.” Done and done.

Two, it’s not like people are having sex in the street. Fun fact: once when we were at a family friendly Rattlers football game, a young (heterosexual) couple directly in front of us was canoodling so hard I was about to offer them a condom. I’ve never seen anything remotely as overt at Provincetown.

But what about the people in drag?? It’s definitely true that there are a lot of people dressed in drag, especially in the evening. I remember they would stand outside their venue, greeting people, handing out fliers, and otherwise mingling with all the salt-water-taffy shoppers. A child would likely, and understandably, ask questions about that. They stand out. They want to stand out. But that’s also an easy question to answer: “Some men like to dress up in fancy dresses and wear makeup.” Full stop.

But it’s sexual! It’s a fetish! Maybe, maybe not. But that’s not something children need to be aware of. People fetishize (I’m being told that’s not a word. I’m keeping it anyway) a lot of things. Children don’t need to be aware of that either.

It’s only a big deal if we make it a big deal.

Children don’t care, nor need to know, about the ins and outs (no pun intended) of what adults may choose to do behind closed doors. Simply SEEING a gay couple, or a transgender person, or an individual dressed in drag, is not going to harm them. If we’re uncomfortable with it, that’s an “us” problem, not a “them” problem. No one is trying to recruit them. No one is trying to turn them gay.

I’m far more concerned about my children witnessing unkindness, or violence, or prejudice.

I’m not afraid of a man in high heels and a wig, and I don’t want my children to be, either.

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