45%. That’s the percentage of LGBTQ youth who seriously consider suicide, including more than half of transgender and non-binary youth.

1.8 million. That’s the number of LGBTQ youth who seriously consider suicide each year, with an attempt being made every 45 seconds.

Only 1/3 of LGBTQ youth experience parental acceptance (1/3 experience parental rejection, and 1/3 do not feel comfortable coming out until they are adults).

Transgender and non-binary youths are 2 to 2.5 times as likely to experience depressive symptoms, seriously consider suicide, and attempt suicide compared to their cisgender LGBQ peers.

People of color are at an even greater risk. 59% of Black transgender and nonbinary youths seriously consider suicide, and more than 1 in 4 attempt.

Fewer than 1 in 3 transgender and non-binary youths find their homes to be gender affirming.

36% of LGBTQ youth report being physically threatened or harmed.

52% of LGBTQ youth in middle school or high school report online or in-person bullying.

73% of LGBTQ youth report discrimination based on orientation or gender identity.*

_______________________________________________________

Read it again.

I share this list because I want to believe most people are good. I want to believe that when faced with this information, most people would be alarmed and disheartened… most people would have compassion and empathy… most people would believe in their heart of hearts that this is a community of people that at a minimum – at a MINIMUM – deserves our love and respect. Deserves to be treated with tender care. This is a community of people that is hurting, and a community that is treated poorly by society at large.

I wonder: Why, why, when the need for compassion is clearly so great, do people want to cast it aside in favor of grandstanding, of judgement, and of a tit-for-tat war of words and theology where literally nobody wins? “But it’s a sin!” people cry out again and again, inexplicably personally victimized by the gender identities and sexual orientations of people who have exactly zero effect on their own lives.

I’ve always found it odd too, that so many religious people choose this as their personal pet project. Why such an obsession with people’s personal lives? Why not the same amount of attention to people who lie or steal or drive drunk or actually harm others? Regardless of whether or not you think it’s a sin, what harm is being done to you if a man happens to love another man? What harm is being done to you if someone identifies as transgender? What harm is being done to you if someone asks that you refer to them using “they/them” pronouns?

No, the harm that’s being done is not coming from the LGBTQ community. The harm that’s being done is TO the LGBTQ community. These are people who, like the rest of us, are just trying to live their best lives and be who they are. People who are called out, disparaged, threatened, and marginalized just for existing. And the worst offenders? The people who claim to be all about God’s “love.”

I used to get so defensive about it too. “Not all Christians are like that!” And to be fair, they’re not. But by and large, historically speaking, Christians have treated the LGBTQ community objectively horribly for longer than I’ve been alive. And there’s no defense for that. There’s no excuse for that. It’s wrong and it’s harmful. Full stop.

I stopped calling myself a Christian a long time ago (for this and many reasons), but I never stopped identifying with Christ. And I don’t write this in spite of my beliefs but largely because of them. Jesus loved and welcomed all people, but he especially loved people who were marginalized by the rest of society. Also, fun fact: He had exactly zero things to say about being gay or transgender. Zero. It’s so bizarre to me because to hear people talk, you’d think He railed about it all the time. But He never mentioned it. Not one time. You know what He did talk about? Kindness, patience, gentleness, encouragement, grace… LOVE. Not “I’ll love you if you look like me and act like me and love like me.” But pure, genuine, unconditional love.

My heart has been hurting lately because there’s been such an influx of homophobic and transphobic memes and articles coming through my Facebook feed. As the world focuses on creating new laws and regulations, people are feeling emboldened to share their strongly anti-LGBTQ stance. And you guys? It makes me angry, but honestly it mostly just makes me sad. Because these are real people you’re talking about. Real feelings that are being affected. Real lives that are at stake. They’re not just hypothetical “sinners.” (This seems like as good a time as any to state for the record that I don’t believe it’s a sin, but that even if I did, it wouldn’t matter, and it wouldn’t change the way I treated you because at the end of the day we’re all just human beings.) I don’t pretend to know the motive behind sharing things like that, but all it really does is let everyone know that you are not a safe person.

I have been staring at these words for the last half hour. So much more to say, but too emotionally exhausted to say it. I have no neat and tidy way to end this, so I’ll just leave you with two more facts. (*All facts and figures are from The Trevor Project. They have links to all their sources*)

Having just one accepting adult can reduce the risk of suicide attempt in LGBTQ youth by up to 40%.

and

Transgender and nonbinary youth who have pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of their peers.

You can be the difference.