Category Archives: traveling

September 26, 2013 · 11:13 AM

On The Road Again

Tomorrow at this time, my family will be somewhere between here and Kansas, in the middle of the first leg of our 18-day cross-country road trip.

2013roadtrip

The last time we took a similar trip, two years ago, I had all these grand plans for all the productive stuff I’d get done during my hours and hours in the car.  I’d read!  I’d write!  I’d edit! I’d make lists!

Those plans were quickly – and unabashedly – abandoned when I realized that what I needed wasn’t time to DO more, but time to just…. be.  To appreciate the sites, to sing with my kids, to chat with my husband.  I love road trips so, so much.   And this time, I have no silly notions about being productive in the slightest.  For the next 18 days, consider me “clocked out.”  I’m going to enjoy the country, enjoy my family, enjoy the friends we meet along the way, enjoy the time away from the hustle and bustle of life.

It’s Easy Rider meets National Lampoon’s Vacation.

And I can’t wait.

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March 14, 2012 · 10:22 PM

Plane tickets & new chapters

 

The first time Mike and I were on an airplane together was on our honeymoon.  We were headed to Florida, to a condo that was graciously offered to us by a family friend.    We were all lovey and wide-eyed, and I remember actually feeling a little bit embarrassed about how loudly our appearance screamed, “Newlyweds.”  We were, like, twelve years old, and our wedding rings (which we have since ditched for matching silver bands with a quote in gaelic on them) were blindingly clean and sparkly.

The second time – of two – was right before we got pregnant with Spencer.  We were on our way to the Bahamas with my sister and her then boyfriend.  It was actually supposed to be a cruise (which we did take on the way back) but there was a fire on the ship, and we ended up having to fly there instead.   It was a fun trip to a cool resort with great music, all-night limbo parties, and my introduction to the drink called the Bahama Mama.

This morning, 16 years since the booze cruise Bahama vacation, he booked us two tickets to Chicago. Next month I’m going to accompany him on a 4 day business trip sans kids, which will mark the first time that we’ve gone away just the two of us since becoming parents, AND the first time I’ve spent more than a day away from the kids period (I’m not counting the time I was in the hospital for five days with my gall bladder issues.  I’m pretty sure there are different rules when you’re unconscious, losing bodily organs, or hopped up on morphine)

Not leaving the kids was not a conscious decision so much as a continuation of just following my heart and their lead.  I knew I’d do it when they were ready, and not a moment sooner.  We feel most happy and whole when we’re together, whether that means sticking around home, traveling across the country, or all those medium spots in between.

But there he was.  Asking me if I wanted to go with him to Chicago.  A year ago, I wouldn’t have even considered it.  Six months ago, I wouldn’t have even considered it.

This time though, I knew it was time.  And I was ecstatic about the prospect…. three whole days in a new-to-me city, just me and that husband of mine.  The kids are thrilled to spend a few days with their grandparents, and while I’ll miss them like crazy, I know that it’ll be a positive adventure for them as well.

I feel excited, I feel nervous… but mostly I feel an overwhelming sense of the bittersweet.  Not because I’m not sure if the kids are ready, but because I know that they are.

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September 13, 2011 · 6:02 PM

Good Vibrations: Finding my Tribe

This past weekend we joined over one hundred unschooling families for the Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference. I don’t want to get too mushy and sentimental about it, but here’s the thing:

I don’t really fit in with most moms. Not moms from homeschool groups, not moms from little league, not moms from scouts, not moms from church. Sure, I’ve become reasonably adept at smiling and small talk and chit chat, but when the subject shifts (as it always inevitably does) to things like curriculums, limits, punishments, and coercive parenting in general, I’m met with a stark reminder. “Oh yeah, we’re different.”

Make no mistake… I like being different. I love the lifestyle we’ve chosen to live with our family, and I truly couldn’t imagine living any other way. I am so happy, and so filled with peace with the decisions we’ve made – and continue to make – when it comes to education, parenting, and just LIVING. But I’d be lying if I didn’t say that at times it can be…. isolating… having an all but completely nonexistent local support team of people who “get it.”

Enter the unschooling conference.

And of course, the conference was lighthearted and fun. I mean, where else can you:

Go swimming
Make fairy wands and upcycled tutus
Carve sponges
Break boards
Play dress-up
Learn about nature drawing
Hula hoop
Have Nerf gun wars
Watch movies and listen to concerts by the pool, and
Take surfing lessons,

All in the same weekend?

There’s no denying that it was a great time. But it was more than that. It was like a breath of fresh air to be around so many unschoolers, to – even if just for a few days – not be the odd one out. To know that my three year old is welcomed anywhere that I am, to know that my seven year old will be taken seriously, and that my 11 and 14 year old won’t be asked what grade they’re in, or what their favorite subject is or whether or not they’re allowed to watch television or play video games. To see adults, teens, and kids of all ages playing and chatting and just enjoying each other’s company, as if it were the most natural and normal thing in the world (which, of course, it is)

Being an introvert who’s married to, well, an even bigger introvert, we’re not always so good at the mixing and mingling. We tended to do more hanging back and observing, while our unsocialized kids happily and easily made friends with everyone they came in contact with. But even from our “quietly taking everything in” stance (although, I feel compelled to make it known that I DID both break a board and hula hoop in front of a bunch of people, thankyouverymuch); even from that perspective, the amount of support and validation I received from everyone there was immense. I gained and learned so much just from seeing the examples of kindness and respect with which other parents treated their children, and with which they treated my children. And the parents I did get a chance to talk with? It was privilege, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Shortly before we left for home, I witnessed someone yelling at a child, and demanding that he get out of the pool. It thoroughly jarred me out of my conference bubble, and I suddenly realized that I’d just gone four whole days without hearing a parent yell (which is really pretty amazing when you consider that I was there with over 100 sets of parents, and I can barely make it through the grocery store without hearing at least one parent yell, or punish, or humiliate their child.) Disclaimer: This is not to say that unschoolers are perfect parents or that they don’t make mistakes or sometimes have bad days. It’s also not to say that there aren’t wonderful parents who don’t unschool. Of course there are. It’s just that being surrounded by so many many parents who are consciously choosing a path towards a more peaceful and harmonious relationship with their kids is a pretty powerful and invaluable thing. And, well, it DOES make me want to get mushy and sentimental.

Because those are my people. That is my tribe. And even though we’re back home now, scattered amongst the country once again… I’m going to hold on tight, and thank my lucky stars that thanks to the wonder of the internet, my tribe is still with me.

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July 24, 2011 · 10:31 AM

The One Where I Gush About Vacation

The sky as we crossed the AZ border last night

Now that we’re home safe and sound, our trip has officially come to an end, and I can say this without fear of jinxing anything (such a silly feeling isn’t it?  But there it is):

I am blown away by how smoothly the past three weeks have gone.  Blown away.  It truly was a dream vacation for us, and I honestly don’t even have words for how thankful I am for all of it!

First, the driving (hundreds of hours of driving) went without a hitch.  Hundreds of hours.   Six people.   Without a hitch.  99.8 of the trip, we truly and thoroughly enjoyed our time together in the car.  There were no popped tires, and no busted transmissions.  Even the traffic jams were minimal.

Second, everyone was healthy… the entire time!!  We know first hand the crimp that a nasty cold or – even worse – a stomach bug, can put on a vacation.   This time there was nary a sniffle.

Third, to paraphrase Dr Seuss.. “Oh the places we went!”  How often are we going to get to enjoy the red rocks of Zion, the mountains of Colorado, Niagara Falls, Cape Cod, and Washington DC all in same trip?

Finally, the people.  It was a much needed reconnection for the six of us,  one that I’ll be forever grateful that we got the opportunity to experience.  It was also incredible to be able to visit with so many wonderful people, both inside and outside of our family, and I am humbled and thankful to have experienced so much warmth and generosity… from people opening and sharing their homes and their meals and their companionship and their time.   I truly feel an embarrassment of riches right now.

It wasn’t a perfect trip, but it was perfect for us.  It was EXHAUSTING at times, without a doubt, but it was worth every hour of lost sleep and every minute on the road.  I had grand plans to use some of the time in the car to work on writing some blogs, to catch up on my reading, to study for my personal training test, to edit my Nano book from last year.   I did none of that…. and that’s okay!!  As it turned out, what I needed wasn’t more time to do more stuff, but more time to do nothing.  The time in the car was like 3 solid weeks of meditation, and it has refreshed and revitalized me more than I can say.

I blogged about each day of the trip mainly because I wanted to have it for myself, to remember.  I don’t do scrapbooks, only sporadically keep a journal, and am terrible about getting pictures printed.  But I can blog.  So here they all are, if you’d like to read any or all:

Our Great Summer Road Trip:  Day One
Day Two:  Small Town Fun
Day Three:  Driving, Driving, and More Driving
Day Four:  New Friends
Day Five:  I’m Tired
Day Six:  Niagara Falls
Day Seven: And on the 7th day, they rested
Day Eight: Pizza and Waterfalls
Day Nine: The Big Apple
Day Ten:  Grandma
Day Eleven:  Back in Massachusetts
Day Twelve:  Cape Cod
Day Thirteen:  The Beach
Day Fourteen:  Goats and Fishes
Day Fifteen:  Clamming, Piers, and Candy
Day Sixteen:  Long Drives and Good Friends
Day Seventeen:  My Souvenir
Day Eighteen:  Washington, DC
Day Nineteen:  I Told You So
Day Twenty:  Final Days
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Thank you to everyone who helped make our trip so memorable!

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July 19, 2011 · 5:17 AM

Day Seventeen: My Souvenir

The kids have been collecting little souvenirs as we’ve traveled: a couple of stuffed animals and seashells for Tegan, new baseball caps for the boys. Today, thanks in large part to peer pressure a co-conspirator a supportive friend, I got my own souvenir: a little stud in my nose. I hadn’t really planned to pierce my nose on the trip… I actually wanted to do it before the trip, but Mike talked me out of it, concerned about the possibility of dealing with complications/infections/problems when we were away from home. But the timing felt right, I was inspired by being with a kindred spirit, and I rose to the occasion.

In other news:

The boys are thoroughly enjoying being around other hardcore video-gamers.
Spencer mowed the lawn at his own request.
I relished a whole lot of baby-holding, as did the kids:

And we braved the heat and humidity for a short walk and bike ride down the street, where Everett rode a two-wheeler sans training wheels for the very first time.

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July 18, 2011 · 5:15 AM

Day Sixteen: Long Drives and Good Friends

A shortish day of driving that again somehow seemed to take f.o.r.e.v.e.r. It was another smooth ride however (heinous porta-potty and a wasted hour looking for a geocache notwithstanding) and the kids continued to amaze with their patience. Everyone keeps asking what it’s like with all six of us all crammed in the car, so many hours and so many days in a row: Don’t we go crazy? Aren’t the kids at each other’s throats?

Here’s the truth:

Tegan and Everett bicker a little bit now and then, because they’re both in the far back seat, and because they’re 3 and 7. Tegan (understandably) gets antsy when it’s been a particularly long stretch, and Everett is the king of “Are we there yet?” as well as “I have to go to the bathroom.” He also discovered that he can stick his bare toes through the space at the bottom of Spencer’s seat back directly in front of him, which he occasionally does just to try to bug Spencer. And it does bug him. Otherwise, they really do get along. They’re watching movies on the DVD players (some of them upwards of 3 times), napping, taking pictures out the window, chatting, and playing “Would you Rather.” We’re all enjoying the driving.

No matter how fun we manage to make it though, it does of course feel immensely relieving to arrive at our destination at the end of the day. Today was no exception. For the next two days we’ll be in Virginia at the home of my good friend – and fellow unschooler – Alice, who was graciously waiting for us with good food, good drinks, and cute babies.

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July 17, 2011 · 5:09 AM

Day Fifteen: Clamming, Piers, and Candy

We spent our final morning at the Cape digging for clams, a first for all five of us (Paxton decided to hang out back at the house with the non-clammers) Aside from the ever-present reminder that I was a long way from my epi pen, it was a neat experience that the kids especially enjoyed. Tegan even said that clamming was her favorite part of the trip, although in all fairness she has said that a lot of things are her favorite part of the trip. The bottom of the marsh was like quick-sand, and it was comical watching everyone trying to break the suction without losing their balance and falling with every step.

We spent the afternoon strolling around in Chatham, a lovely fishing/tourist/shopping town. We walked to the pier where we enjoyed the seals, watched the fisherman unloading their catch, and found our Massachusetts geocache (our tenth different state so far for the trip) We stopped at a traditional seaside candy store, where the kids loaded up on gummy sharks and worms, and Mike and I indulged in a few dark chocolate salted caramels. Those caramels might have been the highlight of my day.

We got the house closed up, said goodbye to Mike’s brother’s families – which was bittersweet – and headed back to his parents’ house for the night.

Our one regret about our time in New England is that despite our original plans to visit some old friends – and some new ones too – our visits never materialized for a variety of reasons. Fitting everything in was one part of the trip that we really had trouble with, and it was frustrating and sad to have to change course at the last minute. There were simply not enough days to make it all work.

Still, we were happy and grateful for the chance to re-experience the Cape with the kids, and excited about the next part of the trip. Next up: Ashburn, Virginia.

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July 16, 2011 · 5:08 AM

Day Fourteen: Goats and Fishes

Since this was a trip for all of us, everyone got to have a say in what we saw and what we did. One of Tegan’s general requests was to visit animals. We weren’t able to make it to any zoos when we were in New York, so we decided to visit the little Zooquarium in Cape Cod. Fish, birds, zoo animals, and reptiles….. and the girl was happy.

We followed the zoo with another afternoon at the beach, a trip to Provincetown, more food (have I mentioned we’re doing a lot of eating??) and mudslides over a few rounds of a board game called A to Z.

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July 15, 2011 · 5:57 PM

Day Thirteen: The Beach

Our desert kids took to the beach like.. well, like fish to water.

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July 14, 2011 · 5:50 PM

Day Twelve: Cape Cod

The last time we went to the Cape with Mike’s family was around 17 years ago. We were married but didn’t have any children yet (we were still very much kids ourselves), and both of Mike’s brothers were still teenagers.

This time we share it with our own four children, and his family’s families as well. 16 people in all. 8 adults, 8 kids, and one vacation house. The first day was spent continuing that eating, visiting, and catching up from yesterday. We also did a family portrait – all sixteen of us, the first time all together since we moved in 2005 – on the sand dunes. It went quickly and smoothly, even with the kids being… well, kids. There was more than one shot with the girl off to the side happily digging in the sand and/or flashing the camera.

Tomorrow, the beach!

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