Category Archives: school

December 20, 2012 · 12:45 PM

I Quit

“I’ve had it. I quit. I would rather leave my secure, $70,000 job, with benefits, and tutor in Connecticut for free, than be part of a system that is diametrically opposed to everything education should be.”

This is what’s become of our education system… from the mouth of a teacher. And people still wonder why I homeschool. I have a lot of compassion for all the great teachers who are doing the best they can in such a broken, broken system; and especially for teachers like this man… teachers who are forced to make the decision to say “No. No more.”

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Filed under homeschooling, school, unschooling

May 21, 2012 · 10:41 AM

Homework: The Battle over Busy Work

Today’s guest post is by Amy Travis, who last wrote for my blog with A Recipe for Disaster

One evening a few weeks ago, I was witness to a father and son fighting over homework. It was a heated fight, happening on the bleachers while others were practicing basketball. At one point the father even stabbed at the son with the pencil they were fighting over. He was frustrated and so was his son. The funny thing is that just several months before this scene I had a discussion with my doctor about homework. She was intrigued that I homeschooled and said she could never home school because it would just be a fight since homework is. a. fight. every. single. night!

During the interview for the last teaching job I had, I was asked, “What do you think about homework?” I was so excited when I felt brave enough to answer this question with complete honesty. I said, “I don’t believe in homework and I wouldn’t give it if it were up to me, but I understand the system requires it.” The principal followed with, “Yes, we do require that the children have homework every single night.” Truth be told I wasn’t really honest with myself, because I took that job and gave that homework that I didn’t believe in.

Now why don’t I believe in that homework? The question should be why do so many believe in it?

I have heard it said that we are preparing them for college. Seriously? In Kindergarten? And what college are we preparing them for? Because if I remember correctly, college classes weren’t five days a week for 6 to 8 hours straight. I had 2 to 4 hours of classes a day which then gave me time to do my work outside of class on my own time. Do we realize that from Kindergarten thru Senior year we expect students to attend classes and do school work all day long and then several more hours of paperwork into the evening and night?? That isn’t a college schedule! Sorry, I’m not buying that argument.

Just like my doctor, many parents will tell you that homework is a family fight most – if not all – evenings. Is this really how families should be spending their evenings? What about reserving evenings for throwing a ball, playing board games, swimming, eating dinner together, cooking or riding bikes? How about we let children decide what it is they want to learn, do, or create during the afternoon to evening hours? I have to think that families would be better off with this type of lifestyle. Homework is like having a 40 hour/week job and then bringing extra work home. How many adults really want to do that? Yet children are expected to do it from the age of 5.

What happened to just being a kid?

I think families should be given back their family time. Homework is just busy work that parents have bought into thinking it is good for their children. Don’t buy it!

The discussions that that father and son could have while they wait for the sister to finish basketball practice could be priceless. Instead they are heated and strained, and so are the memories they are making.

Amy Travis is a former teacher, and an unschooling mom. When she isn’t writing blog posts for other people, she enjoys throwing parties, making cake balls, and ~~forcing~~ encouraging this introvert to get out and be social every once in awhile.

(photo by apdk)

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Filed under homeschooling, school, unschooling

September 16, 2011 · 4:16 PM

I want you to love this. So I’m going to force you to do it.

(source)

Confession: I have watched the movie The Sure Thing approximately 8625 times (give or take a thousand) There was a point in time when my sister and I could sit and recite the entire movie back and forth, without missing a single line. We’re geeky talented like that. Also on my watched againandagainandagain list: When Harry Met Sally, The Breakfast Club, Real Genius, Some Kind of Wonderful, and Say Anything. Yes, I am aware that they made other movies both before and after the ’80s, but that shall forever remain my favorite movie decade.

I love movies. I love them for their storytelling, for their settings, and for their dialogue. I love the cinematography. I love thinking about the screenplay (and being reminded of my all-time favorite class in college). I love the soundtracks, and how the music makes you really feel what you’re watching. I love that I can watch a movie over and over, and still notice something new every time. I love watching the characters in the background, and seeing how much they add or detract from the main action. I love catching when they’ve made a mistake of continuity in the editing. I love that a favorite movie can bring me out of the doldrums like nothing else.

Because I love them, I naturally share that love with my kids. It just sort of bubbles out of me. We talk about movies, I tell them about my old favorites, we watch together, we look up the actors we like to see what else they’ve been in. I don’t know that they will all grow up loving movies as much as I do… but I do know that they enjoy and appreciate them. They’re something fun that we all take part in, both individually and as a family, simply because I couldn’t help but share this part of myself with the people around me.

You know what I don’t do? I don’t force them to watch movies. Ever. I don’t require them to watch movies. I don’t set aside a certain part of the day for watching movies. I don’t tell them how much it would mean to me if they loved movies. I don’t make them watch movies when they’d rather be reading, or playing ball or taking apart an engine. Doing so would then make movies an unpleasant chore… the exact opposite of my intention. It would likely make them in fact strongly dislike movies (and possibly also strongly dislike ME in the process). At a minimum, it would make them resentful of my insistence, and all but ensure that it becomes a past time that they would then never willingly pursue or enjoy of their own volition.

Doesn’t that just seem like common sense?

Why then, do people hold the belief that they can foster the love of reading (another of the great loves of my life) through force? Through requiring children – whether they seem ready or receptive or not – to sitting down, and practicing, practicing, practicing… as though it were an arduous and grueling task instead of what it actually is: a useful and often pleasurable skill, one that should be enjoyed and embraced by the individual doing it. Let me ask you, how much enjoying and embracing are you going to be doing if someone is standing over you with an iron fist? How much more would you enjoy that chapter book, or National Geographic, or car repair manual (this is what my 14 year old reads for fun) if you’re the one choosing to pick it up? How much more would you appreciate having the skill of reading in your life if you came by it naturally… by having the people you love and trust sharing their joy of reading with you? By being read to, by being surrounded by the written word, by playing games and asking questions and being curious? NOT because you turned 4 (or 5 or 6 or whatever age schools these days are trumpeting as the ‘right’ age to start) and having it proclaimed to you, “Okay, time to learn to read!!”

(source)

You may think it’s unfair of me to compare movies with reading. One’s a necessity, you’re thinking, and the other is mere entertainment. I disagree. Both are forms of conveying information and telling stories. Reading is an invaluable and important skill to develop, absolutely. Reading opens up many doors, and makes us able to learn about anything that we desire, yes. Reading helps us navigate through the world, and allows us to better understand what is happening around us, of course. But if life is to be lived (and heck yeah, LIFE IS TO BE LIVED) equally important is beauty… whether it comes from movies or books or poetry or dance. Enjoying life is important. Having passion for something is important. And a great way to make sure that your child does NOT have passion for something – at least the positive kind – is by forcing them to do it against their will.

I recently received an email from a friend (a friend who I’ve long suspected is an unschooler at heart, even though her daughter currently attends school). She told me about her daughter, a little seven year old, the same age as my Everett. She’s a girl who loved to read, and who’d often steal away to her favorite corners of the house to curl up with a book. She then started second grade, where it was required as part of her homework that she read out loud for ten minutes every day. In a matter of weeks, this little girl completely lost her love of reading, and instead began to dread it. This from a child who actually liked to read! What about the kids who are still learning, or who are focusing on other skills, or who just aren’t ready? Pushing them is going to, well, do just that: push them further away. It’s not going to help them appreciate reading, and it’s certainly not going to instill a love for the process.

Too many traditional schools are focusing more and more on ‘academics’, and at a younger and younger age. They want kids to love reading so they…. try to force it? They’re going in the wrong direction. Kids needs to PLAY, but because of increased pressures to ready them for standardized tests and college and SATS, there’s no time for play. No time for recess, or art, or music, or gym. They must learn to read! And they’re going to enjoy it, dammit!

The ironic part to me is that the system as it stands clearly isn’t working. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” This is even worse than that though, because it’s taking that same thing over and over and doing more of it. More pressure. More structure. More homework. More testing. Meanwhile, more kids are depressed, angry, burnt out, exhausted, bullying others, getting bullied themselves, and getting put on all kinds of psychotropic drugs. I can’t be the only one who sees that there’s a problem here.

Want your children to love reading? Let them see that YOU love it. Share with them. Help them. Support them. Want your children to love learning? Let them know that it’s not a chore, or a burden, or a headache… but simply what we humans do. Let them see that learning is all around them, and not something that happens at certain hours in certain places. Want your children to be happy? Let them be children. Let them run and play and mess up and touch things and taste things and try things.

Let them know that life is about joy and freedom and choices, not about getting forced into someone else’s boxes.

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Filed under learning, reading, school, unschooling

March 21, 2011 · 3:30 PM

Goals, Plans, and Heavy Equipment

Spencer is fourteen at the time of this writing.

I love having a teenager. What’s that you say? What about the sullen, rebellious, eye-rolling teenagers that sitcoms would have you believe are the norm? Not in this house. I like my teen, and find I’m enjoying being around him more than ever. I’ve so far enjoyed all of my kids’ ages, but there’s just something really cool about someone who still plays with legos, but can laugh at and appreciate a sophisticated joke that goes over his younger siblings’ heads. Or a person who can equally enjoy both Tom and Jerry with his three year old sister, and Law and Order: SVU with his parents.

As he’s gotten older, he’s naturally started thinking and talking more about the future, and about what he sees himself doing as an adult. For the past few years, (and really, longer than that, since his fascination with construction vehicles began as a toddler) he’s been interested in going into the field of construction, and learning to operate heavy machinery. Yesterday, we spent a long time looking online at different schools, training programs, and apprenticeships. We talked about all his different options, and what he needs to do to get there. He is so excited.

One of the questions I get a lot about unschooling is, “How will they get into college?” Now, I can personally think of about 7,492 better ways to spend the tens of thousands of dollars that college costs (especially when you don’t want to go into a field that legally requires a certain degree), but that aside, an unschooler gets into college just like anyone else… they find out what’s required for their school/s of choice, and they do it! It’s no more simple nor complicated than that.

In Spencer’s case, he has no interest (or need) for traditional college, but will have to go through a rigorous, and largely on-the-job, training and testing program in order to learn what he needs to know, get certified, and be able to work on his own. First he’ll need a driver’s license, and a high school diploma or GED. We’ve been researching that too, and there are more and more high schools that grant diplomas to homeschoolers for life experiences and/or after taking a test.

Most of the programs he’s looking at also have an age requirement of 18, which means that he has four years (at a minimum… no one is telling him he can’t decide to do it when he’s 20. Or 34.) Four years to live, learn, think, plan, and do what he needs to do in order to earn his diploma and meet his own goals. Considering that a motivated and eager person can learn everything that is taught between K through 12 in a matter of months, I’d say he’s in darn good shape.

I earned a piece of paper

This came in the mail today, so I’m all like, official and stuff. I received an email several days ago with my final grades… which, out of principle (grades don’t matter), I won’t post. But I will say this: the school is of the opinion that I did me some good learnin’.

So, I’m looking at this certificate and I’m thinking a couple of things…

1. I really, really need to do a follow-up post to my What Are You Passionate About? post about schools and degrees, extrinsic rewards and the importance – or non-importance – of things like certifications and tests and grades.

2. Although the person who scoffed and dismissed it because it was “just a certificate” program, as opposed to a Bachelor’s, sort of hurt my feelings at the time, I am over it. I worked hard for it. I studied hard for it. I put a lot of time and effort into it. I learned and digested a lot of information in the past year. Certificate or no certificate, validation or no validation… it was something I was passionate about, and I did it. And I’m proud of that.

3. If I keep it on the table much longer, it will, without a doubt, be spilled on by the end of the evening.

Back into its plastic sleeve it went, to be tucked away with all the other things of its kind, never really to be looked at again.

I’m excited to be done with that part of my journey, and I can’t wait to start the next piece of the adventure.

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Filed under about me, nutrition, school

October 14, 2010 · 3:32 PM

Honesty

Facebook drives me completely crazy. Yes, it has been invaluable for staying in touch with certain friends and family, re-connecting with people from the past, and sharing information with like-minded peers (all of which are why I continue to go) But my list of reasons it bugs the ever-loving *^#@ out of me is lengthy.

One thing that frustrates me is that it’s all too easy to become a facade of yourself. People can present whatever they want to present – whether it’s true or not – and leave the rest at home. It’s smoke and mirrors and posturing and showing off… not unlike a high school dance or a night out at the bar (or the club or wherever it is that people who go out go)

I have no interest in being anyone other than who I am, whether it’s on Facebook or in “real life.” Take me or leave me, I am authentically me. I don’t know how to be anyone else, nor do I have the desire – or time or energy – to try. I’d like to think that what you see on Facebook is very much what you’d see in person, if real life was in fact doled out in little status-sized snippets. I found it really interesting then, when I came across something called the Truth Game. I don’t play it, as those time-sucking little games are another of my Facebook pet peeves, but a quick perusal proved to be very enlightening. Basically, your friends can answer yes/no questions about what they perceive to be true about you… about everything from your dancing ability to your religious beliefs to everything in between. Every so often I get a notice that someone answered a question about me, and I can go see what the question was, and how they answered. Since I don’t play I can’t “unlock” my answers to see who said what, but I kind of like that it’s anonymous. A lot of my friends’ answers are in fact spot-on, but many are not.

In the interest of full disclosure, here are a few that people got right and a few they got wrong.

I was happy – and amused – to see that people correctly guessed that I brush my teeth regularly, have never used steroids, don’t swear like a sailor (at least out loud), and don’t need to “come out of the closet.” It’s also nice to know that no one thinks I’m materialistic, and that people find me to be a good friend.

No one who answered thought I’d ever failed a test – Wrong. I have failed a test. Several in fact. Usually in something related to math, but occasionally in science, and probably a time or two in history. I was on honor roll more often than not when I was in school, but if I was bored or distracted or tired or lovesick or apathetic… I didn’t much care about passing tests. The report card comment that plagued me my entire school career was “Not working up to full potential”, and I earned it. School bored me. I’m so thankful that I’m an adult now and can learn how and when and why I want. And no one ever tells me I don’t work up to my full potential anymore.

Similarly to above, no one thought I’d ever failed a class. To be totally honest, this may be true, but I do remember one semester in my senior year when my apathy towards school was high, I’d already gotten into college, and I let my grades dip, dip, dip, with no sense of shame. It was a very a bad semester for French if I recall (which is ironic, since I love learning foreign languages now) but I don’t remember if I actually failed. And in college, I came VERY close to failing Statistics, a class that filled me with such dread I could break into a cold sweat right now just thinking about it. I did okay in the beginning, and then suddenly it got hard. I got a 23, yes out of 100, on my second test. I didn’t want it to bring down my GPA, as I was finally taking lots of writing and English classes which I loved – and did very well in – so I decided to take it pass/fail. I did end up passing the course, but b a r e l y. I still have nightmares about it.

Everyone also answered that they thought I was religious. To be fair, I have never liked the word “religious,” even back when I was, by most people’s definition, religious. It sounds too controlled to me. Too regimented. Too bound by the rules. It makes me think of conflicts and wars. It makes me think of someone who would preach, and someone who would judge others. Surely there are people out there who consider themselves religious who do not do those things, but for whatever reason, the word has always had a negative connotation in my mind. Yes, I have a strong belief and faith in God. But I’m far more inclined to consider myself “spiritual” rather than religious. Far more likely to focus on the relationship and not the rules. I value, and even embrace, different beliefs, and would never judge another’s religion or lack thereof. I don’t consider myself religious, but clearly I present myself as something that others see as religious. Is it just a matter of semantics? Perhaps, but I don’t think so.

Finally, and by far the most puzzling to me, was the question “Do you think this person has ever done anything they’re ashamed of?” EVERYONE answered no. Really? Of course I’ve done things I’m ashamed of! Is there anyone who hasn’t? I’m ashamed that I stole a toy from preschool, even though I knew it was wrong, and I’m ashamed that I lied to my mother about it. I’m ashamed of the way I messed with the mind of the very sweet kid who had a crush on me in Jr High. I’m ashamed of the way I handled a situation with a not-very-nice person a couple of years ago, and I’m ashamed of the way I continue to handle it. I’m ashamed every time I have a less-than-stellar parenting moment. And I’m ashamed of a whole bunch of stuff in between.

We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t have some bad days, and we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t make some bad decisions. I’m not ashamed of who I am… I’m me, and I like me. But I’m human.

And I’m still thinking about that Statistics class.