Last week, Elliot Page, the actor known for Juno and Inception, came out as a trans male. At first what I saw was positive. People sharing his Instagram post and articles, voicing their love and support, and generally showering him with respect and acceptance.

And then I read the comments.

Everything from flat-out hate and bigotry, to the more insidious “I disagree with the lifestyle, but ….” comments. Judgment, unkindness, and disrespect for this person who just …. what? Dared to live his life? Had the audacity to be true to himself? Allowed himself to be happy? What exactly did he do to earn or deserve your ire?

To those who are in the camp of, “She was born a female, so she’s a female, period:” you are not only being close-minded, you are scientifically incorrect. Sex and gender are two different things. Yes, you are born with a certain set of sex organs, but gender is a separate and complicated construct, one that does not always align with the organs assigned at birth.

To those who use religion as their shield: “God made male and female! He doesn’t make mistakes!” I would argue that if He doesn’t make mistakes, then Elliot Page and all of the other 1.4 million Americans who identify as transgender are not mistakes either. Also, if you feel it’s somehow wrong to identify as anything other than cisgender, then don’t. No one’s forcing you to do anything.

To those who are threatened or disgusted or otherwise freaked out because it is “different”: Life is full of people and concepts and identities that we may not understand. I can’t honestly say that I completely understand being transgender myself. I am not transgender, and I don’t know anyone in my close circle who’s transgender either. But I do know it’s not something to fear. It’s not something to be threatened by.

Because here’s the thing. Elliot Page coming out as transgender is not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about him, and his own life, and his own identity. Full stop. And you don’t have to agree with someone, or understand someone, or even relate to someone in order to respect them. In order to show them kindness, in order to show them compassion. His words and his actions are not hurting you, in fact are not affecting you at all. It’s not hard to just let other people be happy.

The way I see it, when we’re faced with news like this, we’re given two main options: To respond with distrust, bigotry, and fear; or respond with love, acceptance, and compassion. Keep in mind too that the issue at hand isn’t dealing with someone who’s murdered someone or robbed a homeless person. It’s not complicated. This is simply a fellow human, living his fellow human existence, and telling the world, “Hey, this is who I am.”

You don’t have to agree to be kind. You don’t have to understand to be compassionate.

When Elliot Page told the world he was transgender, he wasn’t asking for your approval. He was simply being Who He Is. It doesn’t matter if you don’t agree. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s wrong. It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand. It really, truly doesn’t. People are allowed to live their lives. All people. Famous people, your neighbor, your uncle, the guy that fixes your car or cuts your hair or does your taxes. If they’re not somehow hurting you (and they’re not) it’s their literal right as human beings to live their lives on their own terms.

One of the most beautiful things we’ve been given in this life is choices. For Elliot page, and other transgender individuals, he gets to choose how and when and for what reason he decides to tell the world that he’s a man.

We get to choose how we respond.