I woke up to a text from a friend (on a screen.)
After I showered and made my coffee, I got caught up on email, Facebook and Instagram (on a screen), then I sent off a message regarding a costume for my 13 year old’s upcoming play (on a screen). After that I watched last night’s A Million Little Things (on a screen.)
The TV is off now, and I won’t turn it on again until this afternoon when I watch The Talk (on a screen). It’s a fun little break in the day, and I like to listen to them talking about current events. I’m also a big fan of Amanda Kloots, whose story I started following in 2020 when she began recounting her story of her husband Nick Cordero’s fight with, and ultimately death from, COVID-19. I watched her updates daily on Instagram (on a screen).
In a few hours, I have a dentist appointment. We moved a couple of years ago, and I had to find a new one. I asked for recommendations on Facebook (on a screen), and looked up everyone who was mentioned (on a screen). I checked my insurance website too (on a screen) to see who was or was not covered.
A couple of minutes ago I ran upstairs to talk to my husband who’s working from home today (on a screen), then I got out my laptop to begin this post (on a screen). I found a picture (on a screen), and I started to write (on a screen.)
Forgive my bluntness, but “screen time” is one of the stupidest phrases we’ve collectively come up with as a society. It means literally nothing. In 2021, screens are used for an infinite number of purposes, from utility and information, to communication and entertainment. Lumping all of it into a catch-all phrase of “screen time” makes absolutely no sense.
Another thing that makes no sense? The fact that so many parents hold such a disdain for their kids’ use of “screen time” (“If I let him, he’d be on his tablet ALL DAY!”) then use said screen time as a prime bargaining tool, removing it at the slightest infraction. Which in turn only makes it more alluring, more attractive, more important. The forbidden fruit, if you will. Parents want their kids to regulate, to learn to use screens in a healthy way, but by limiting them and constantly taking them away they’re ensuring that that won’t happen. Screens will be viewed by the child as something to binge, something they must hold on to tightly, to take in as much as they can before they’re taken away again.
I recently saw a reply on a Facebook group where a worried new unschooler was told, “The best way to unschool is to keep your house free of screens.” I could not disagree more. One of the best parts about unschooling is that you have the opportunity to make your kids’ worlds bigger. Why then would you limit them, and in turn make their worlds smaller?
Screens, in all their forms, are tools. And incredible tools at that! I am so thankful, especially over the very weird past 12 months, that my children are able to access their screens whenever they want.
A very, very short list of what screens have allowed my children to do:
Talk with their friends
Play games, alone and with others
Take classes
Write stories
Watch videos
Make videos
Share pictures
Watch movies
Listen to music
Apply for jobs (17 year old)
Code (24 year old)
How cool is it to have all this technology, all this information, all this learning, all this entertainment, right at their fingertips?
But but… aren’t I worried about child predators? Porn? Addiction? The internet is dangerous!
To that I’d say: First, my children, all teenagers and young adults at the time of this writing, use technology in a very different way than they did when they were seven. While they still had the freedom to use what they’d liked, they did so with much more supervision. It should go without saying that young children need more supervision in general. We did things together. We explored. We partnered. We discussed. It all laid the groundwork for today, where they explore with more freedom. They’re confident, they’re safe, and they still share.
They know that technology and the internet is not something to fear but something to use and enjoy responsibly. They know that they can come to us if they ever have a problem. They know that they can talk to us about anything, including anything they’re doing online. They know that technology is just another tool, one that they can take or leave at any time, and that is neither more nor less valuable than spending time outdoors or playing a board game or painting a picture. It’s just one of a million things they may choose to use, or not, in any given day.
So no, I don’t live in fear of screens. I rather enjoy screens, and am thankful every day that we are lucky enough that they are part of our lives.
” They know that technology is just another tool, one that they can take or leave at any time, and that is neither more nor less valuable than spending time outdoors or playing a board game or painting a picture. It’s just one of a million things they may choose to use, or not, in any given day.” I wrote almost exactly the same thing in an article for a home ed magazine a few years ago. I love that my kids (and myself and my husband) have access to such amazing technology and that it is just one more thing that we can use when we want to or happily put down to do something else and not feel like we are missing out.
Yup!!! It took me a long time to come around to this same perspective, but three of my kids (given all the screens they desire bc… pandemic) have taught themselves Scratch coding and to play chess (with no help from me) using a laptop. They also do language learning, watched the Mars rover touch down, saw some mariachi concerts, practiced ukulele… and of course they spend time with lots of videos + games that don’t outwardly look educational, but probably are anyway. Screens just offer another way to engage with the world (and honestly, it’s often a bigger slice of the world than we have easy geographic access to!). Time for all of us to get rid of our outdated ideas on this. The world is wide.