Sometimes when I head to bed at night, Tegan (15 at the time of this writing) will follow me. We’ll sit on my bed and chat into the late hours… about life, boys, and our hopes for the future. It is often my favorite part of the day. I love my kids of course, but I also genuinely like them, and so enjoy spending time with them. Making time to talk to my kids – to just eschew all distractions, give them all of my attention, and just LISTEN – is something I consider one of the most important parts of being a parent. Selfishly, it’s also one of the most gratifying. My kids are my favorite people on the planet, and these are just a few reasons why.

They’re smart – I don’t mean book smart (though they’re that too!). I mean life smart. When I was a teenager, I didn’t know which way was up. I had no earthly clue who I was, no idea what I stood for, no sense of self at all. But my kids know who they are. They know how the world works, and they know their place in it. I am blown away at how thoughtful and sophisticated their thought process is. Yes, they have growing up to do (don’t we all?) but today’s young people are far smarter and more mature than most adults like to give them credit for. They have a lot to offer … to us, to each other, to the world at large. We just need to be willing to listen.

They’re kind – One of Tegan’s favorite things to say is “That’s not kind.” Sometimes it’s said in a joking way, and sometimes she’s dead serious. If any of us says anything unkind about someone else, she’s the first one to call us out on it. And I’m so glad she does! Tegan reminds me, again and again, about the importance of kindness, and about treating people the way we’d like to be treated. I don’t know where she got her heart from, but it is giant. And it is inspiring. She wants the world to be treated kindly, generously, and with grace, and it’s a lesson I take from her daily. All four of my kids instinctively know how to be kind, how to be gentle, and how to navigate life and relationships in an honest, thoughtful, and caring way. I want to be like them when I grow up.

They’re funny – One of the fun things about having multiple kids is just how different they are, sense of humor included. The oldest is all about the straight up puns and dad jokes. All dad jokes, all day. The 22 year old is very much the opposite, and relies on sarcasm and dead pan delivery. 19 year old is like a comedian: amused by life’s absurdities. And the 15 year old, the baby, is one of those people for whom funny is just a personality trait. She’s funny without trying. All four of them make me laugh, and as it happens, laughing is one of my very favorite things to do.

They’re surprising – One of the coolest things about young people is that they are still learning and growing. We’re still learning and growing throughout our lives of course, but there is just something about getting to witness the leaps and bounds growth in knowledge and maturity that comes with youth. My kids are constantly surprising me… with what they know, with how they think, with what they choose to share. I love it when Everett is in a chatty mood when I pick him up from school, because it means I get to hear about what he learned in class, or what he’s writing his next paper about, or what cool thing his friend told him. I love to hear their opinions and I love to hear their “whys.” I love it when they catch me off guard, and when they make me look at something in a way I’ve never done before.

They’re unique – When I said I didn’t know who I was when I was a teenager, I wasn’t kidding. I tried to be the “good” kid, do what was expected, please the people around me, think/feel/act the way I was supposed to, giving no thought or consideration to my own wants or needs. I feel like I didn’t even begin to scratch that “Who am I?” question until I was in my twenties forties. My kids though… dang. They know who they are. Yes, they’re still figuring things out like everyone else, but they are not afraid to be who they are, and I so admire that. I feel so lucky that I get a front row seat: to their quirks, their personalities, their likes, their dislikes, those weird little idiosyncrasies that make us who we are. Idiosyncrasies that are not just accepted, but CELEBRATED.

It doesn’t matter which kid is in front of me, or what the topic of conversation might be. School. Work. Friends. Politics. Pop culture. Food. Video games. Movies. Music. Dreams. Nightmares. Pet peeves. I am here for it.

I am here for all of it.