I started this blog in December of 2004 (19 years ago!) It was mostly a day-in-the-life journal style blog back then, and has since morphed into… whatever it is now.

I’ve been thinking about those early days a lot lately, as we confidently step into a new season. All those babies I wrote about 20 years ago are now teenagers and young adults (at the time of this writing: 27, 23, 19, and 16) and life looks very different than it did back then. These days life revolves around driving my youngest to wherever she needs to go, and supporting them all through college, jobs, hobbies, moving, life, and relationships.

It occurred to me recently that to an outsider my job as a homeschooling parent is almost done. Which is weird, but not as weird as the fact that naysayers will now look to my children to see how they “turned out”… because of (or I guess, in spite of) their unconventional upbringing. It’s something I’ve heard a lot over the years: People seem to wonder or worry how homeschooled kids are going to turn out when they’re grown.

I have questions.

First, what does that even mean? Kids are human beings. They’re human beings RIGHT NOW, not at some arbitrary point in the future. They’re not a pot roast that you put in the crock pot, waiting for it to be done to see if it’s cooked properly. They’re people. Like the rest of us, they are forever growing and learning and experiencing life. They’re never “done” until they have no breath left.

Second, at what age do you determine that they have or have not turned out well? 18? 21? When they are grown and have children of their own? It’s arbitrary and silly. There is no magical age at which you can declare your job over. Parenting is for life.

But for the sake of this post – and for anyone with littles who might need the encouragement – here is how my children are turning out:

They are happy. They are living life out loud, pursuing their own individual goals, and have retained that sense of wonder and curiousity that served them so well when they were little. They also still know how to play, which is so so important for a balanced and joyful life.

They are kind. Seriously, these kids forever teach me (a lifelong major introvert who doesn’t always know what to do with the people around me) how to be kind, loving, and show grace to all.

They are smart. One of the coolest things about having four kids is getting to witness, and nurture, four completely different styles of learning, life interests, and skills. I get a front-row seat to watching them do the damn thing in their own ways, and I am so thankful for it.

They know who they are. I had no earthly clue who I was until I was in my 30’s. I did what I was told, tried to please everyone around me, and didn’t have a single unique opinion in my head. Didn’t know who I was, what was important to me, or what I wanted out of life. But my kids know, they stand strong in their beliefs, they work for what they want, and I so admire them for that. I will say for the sake of full disclosure that the one caveat to that is that it is somewhat tempered by the confusion that comes with being a teenager. Woosh. Being a young person (especially a 14, 15, 16 year old) can be HARD. They have something that I didn’t have at that age though: a certain je ne sais quoi that keeps them grounded, confident, and relatively unshakable. And when they do get shaken? They recover with grace. Every time.

They are good friends. To me, to their dad, to each other, to their peers. They love hard. They are generous with their care, their words, and their actions.

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When I originally started thinking about this post, I thought that I’d be listing outward accomplishments. They are doing a lot of cool things! But I realized all of those things? The 4.0? The promotion to manager? The singing competitions? The ability to fix anything that’s broken? None of that matters as much as what’s above. (I’d actually argue that in the grand scheme, they don’t really matter much at all.)

I don’t know what my kids are going to do in the future, and I honestly couldn’t really hazard a guess. Life takes some weird and unexpected turns. Having decided that college wasn’t the right path for me when I was young, I then spent the majority of my 40s earning two degrees. Things happen. Plans change. We learn. We grow. I don’t know where their individual journeys will take them, but I am here for it. I’m here for all of it.

And right now? Right at this moment in time?

The kids have turned out alright.