Category Archives: family

July 5, 2011 · 8:24 PM

Day Three: Driving, Driving, and More Driving

I have fond memories of overnight road trips we’ve taken in the past: once home from Arkansas, when we were going to Harding; once to California shortly after we’d first moved to Arizona; once when we were visiting Phoenix for the first time. They were always fun… the late night conversations, the downing of coffee and energy drinks, the feeling of having the highway all to yourself. This one was different though, possibly because we were already on the sleep-deprived side even before we’d started it, or possibly just because we’re getting old older. It went smoothly, for which I am very thankful, but it felt like an exhausting blur. Poor Tegan woke up crying several times in the first couple of hours, too asleep to be reasoned with but awake enough to realize that she wasn’t in her bed. 🙁 And our sparkling conversations were non-existent, mainly because I’d turned from a normal person into one resembling a surgery patient coming out of anesthesia. I was having a hard time stringing even two words together, and I was dozing off mid-thought again and again. Mike was thankfully able to manage to both stay awake and stay on the road, responsibly stopping a few times for 15 minute cat naps at rest areas when he knew he needed them.

We were all happy to see the sun coming up when we were driving through Colorado (which, by the way, I do believe is the most beautiful state I’ve ever been in)

and we enjoyed a nice – if entirely too large – late breakfast at Jack and Grill’s, home of Man Vs Food’s seven pound breakfast burrito.

Adam Richman on the wall of fame

The kids alternately napped and watched movies while the mountains of Colorado gave way to the miles and miles of flatness in Nebraska.

Our excitement for the day came in the form of heavy winds, black skies, and torrential downpours as we approached our hotel in Lincoln. Everett was in tears – worried about tornadoes – and we did our best to reassure him, even as we kept our eye on some of the more ominous looking clouds that told us that tornadoes weren’t entirely out of the realm of possibility.

But there would be no tornadoes (at least to our knowledge) and we safely made it to our hotel a little after seven. It was 10:00 by the time everyone was fed, showered, and ready for bed. I had big plans to relax and watch something on Netflix on my computer… but I fell asleep with the laptop on my stomach, not twenty minutes into my show.

Tomorrow: Galena, Illinois

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July 4, 2011 · 8:23 PM

Day Two: Small Town Fun

The fourth of July. The one day of the year that I get nostalgic about living in a small town. This year, Parowen, Utah served as a lovely surrogate. We watched a parade complete with the requisite floats, horses, cheerleaders, and candy-throwing…

We grilled burgers and hotdogs. We took the grumpy girl for a walk around the block, and got baptized with a sudden and refreshing downpour. We played an always amusing round of Apples to Apples. We found a geocache (our first in Utah), and spread blankets at a local park to watch the fireworks…

After the “official” fireworks, we visited the front yard of some friends of our friends for the home-launched variety. The kids thought it was just about the coolest thing ever, right up until the second to last one, which sent embers flying through the yard, and spectators scrambling onto the porch.

We decided to leave Utah that night to get a head start on our next 19 hour leg, and we all left in high spirits: buoyed by fun celebrations, good food, and good friends.

It was a memorable and fantastic 4th, marred only by the fact that I broke a tooth on a piece of candy from the parade, as well as the sleep-robbing stomach aches that were shared by three of us (which may or may not also be attributed to poor late-night dietary choices. I admit to nothing.)

Next stop: Lincoln, Nebraska.

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· 2:53 PM

Our Great Summer Road Trip: Day 1

We pulled it off. Despite my unintentional best efforts to sabotage it by stressing out trying to make sure everything was perfect, we finally got it all together. By early Sunday morning, the house had been cleaned, decluttered, and polished. Our beds all had new sheets. Our trashes had all been emptied. Our refrigerator had been purged. We had the chicken sitter, house sitter, and mail hold all in place. We’d dropped off the dog, the rat, and the fish. I even watched The Secret to put me in a good frame of mind. We were ready.

We left the house at 5:20 in the morning, and enjoyed a stress-free 9 hour ride up to Utah. The kids entertained themselves with movies, taking pictures out the window, and eating an excessive amount of Pringles. When we weren’t drinking in the scenery, coming up with scavenger hunt assignments for the kids (and giving out Starbursts for prizes), Mike and I did what we always do on road trips…. talk about everything from life to television to theology.

We arrived at our first stop at 3:00. We spent the afternoon hanging out with our friends, catching up on the past nine months, eating pizza at their local little haunt, and baking cupcakes into the wee hours of the morning.

Snow in July!

And it was good.

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May 15, 2011 · 11:03 AM

Desert Therapy

I had a week. I was feeling tired and run-down, sick from the medication I was taking, and grumpy from the heat. I was sleeping even less than normal (which is minimal to begin with), and badly in need of an outing and some good old-fashioned head clearing.

We had an off-roading trip scheduled yesterday, and I was so feeling so badly that we were wondering if we’d have to cancel. In the end though, staying home was just not an option. I HAD to get out, and the desert was the perfect place to be. Breathing in the wide, open, desert air is far and away my preferred therapy (better even than Alanis Morissette) It’s one place I can always relax. One place I can always be me. It was exactly what I needed, and it restored me in both body and soul.

This video is under two minutes, and is just something I quickly shot as we were driving through a little canyon. What I love about it is Tegan squealing happily in the back seat… the sound of which is of course better for the soul than the desert and Alanis combined.

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Filed under about me, family, health, off-roading

May 8, 2011 · 7:00 AM

14 Things

I have been a mother for 14 years.  To celebrate my 14 years of motherhood, here are fourteen (of many) things I love about MY mother.  I wouldn’t be the mother – or the person – that I am if it were not for her.

My Mom and my Spencer

1.  She is beautiful, inside and out.

2.  She’s a klutz, just like me.  No really, that’s a good thing.  It’s important not to feel alone.

3.  She loves to learn new things, and try new things, and isn’t afraid to jump in with both feet each and every time.

4.  She is the best cook I know.  Her apple pie is beyond compare.

5.  She drops everything and comes running when I have gall bladder problems.  And kidney problems.  And babies.

6.  She’s supportive of my choice to homeschool… or at the very least, she keeps any negative opinions to herself

7.  She raised me to have deep appreciation for good chocolate, good wine, good coffee, and God (not necessarily in that order)

8.  Once when I had a really, really bad day in high school, she let me take the next day off as a “mental health” day.

9.  She came to every concert, every recital, every play, and every sporting event… even if I was sitting on the bench the whole game.

10.  She moved across an entire country to be nearer to her children and her grandchildren.

11.  She made me wine glasses with elephants etched on them.

12.  She left me with a lifetime supply of inside jokes, funny memories, and crazy family stories.

13.  She treats my husband like her own son, and has done so ever since the first day I brought him home 20 years ago.

14.  She treats my kids with patience, kindness, and respect.  She gets down on the floor and plays with them, which is far and away more important to me than any of the above.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.  I love you more than you know.  And Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the mothers out there, and especially to those mothers whose babies are no longer with them, and to those mothers who are still waiting for their babies to arrive.   I am thinking of all of you today.

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April 25, 2011 · 10:44 AM

Good Enough

A confession, if I may:

I have a sort of ongoing, internal struggle when it comes to perfectionism. In the moment, I’m okay with unpredictability. I’m cool with things not going according to plan. I’ve built an entire lifestyle (and an entire blog) around appreciating life’s detours… which aren’t always pretty, and aren’t always perfect. There is still beauty to be found, even in the imperfections. I know this. I know this.

So I must be a slow learner. Because I still get hung up on details. I still worry about things turning out the way they’re “supposed to.” (And really, who can decide how things are supposed to turn out?) I still lay awake at night double-checking everything in mind, especially when it comes to things like holidays. And birthdays. And Tuesdays. Did I do everything I should’ve done? Should I have done something differently? Would the kids be happy?

It’s exhausting and unnecessary.

Yesterday was Easter.
It was not perfect.
But it was wonderful.
And wonderful was good enough.

It all started with the eggs. I really wanted to dye eggs naturally this year. I even found links for dying naturally, and shared them on Facebook (you’re welcome). But I didn’t use them. I used the very UNnatural kit that’s been in the cupboard – from months ago, when our neighbors brought it over when they were moving and cleaning out their kitchen. That’s what the kids wanted to use, and we already had it, and we didn’t have any extra money to buy the ingredients for natural dying anyway.

So egg dying looked like this this year:

It wasn’t what I’d wanted, but it was good enough. The kids were happy, and that makes me happy.

But then there were the baskets! Talk about an internal struggle… over something so completely silly. Spencer and Paxton are old enough that they’re not interested in the standard fare of things like bubbles and stickers, but I wanted to think of something that’d be fun for them. I didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on cheap little toys that’d end up buried in a toy bin in a couple of days, but I wanted them all to have some cool surprises. I definitely didn’t want to fill a basket with hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and other artificial junk, but I didn’t want them to miss out on some of their favorites (which they have so infrequently anyway). And I didn’t have the budget for the healthier alternatives.

But, but, but. I have friends that manage to do it… manage to make holidays natural and healthy and perfect and wonderful. Manage to have lovely days with pressed kids in their Easter finest heading happily off to church. Why can’t I do it? And there’s that perfectionism. There’s that taking myself too seriously, and stressing myself out with trying to do everything *right.* Wasn’t I just berating my sixteen year old self for doing that very thing??

So I took a big, huge breath.

The baskets (which were filled with totally unhealthy chocolate, and a couple small and carefully chosen gifts) were not perfect, but they were good enough. And they made all four kids very happy.

Everyone was bathed and clean, but Tegan didn’t want me to even touch her hair. So it wasn’t as nice and cascading as I would have liked. She also had a rip in the back of her pretty dress – the only one she wanted to wear – that resisted all our best efforts to repair/hide/cover it.

Her and Everett were both over-tired from getting up too early, and had a hard time sitting through church. That was my daughter you heard saying, “I’m done with this. The singing’s too loud,” before her dad whisked her away to play outside.

But it was okay. It was all okay. It was in fact more than okay, because after the baskets, after the egg hunts, after church, we all went to my sister’s and spent the day hanging out with family… playing, eating, laughing, and remembering – once again – what’s important (and what’s not)

And when we finally went home, tired, stuffed, and spent, all four kids declared it the “best Easter they’ve ever had.”  And it was.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than I could have planned, even without vegetable dyed eggs and all-natural chocolate.  Even without rip-free dresses (which she of course ditched once she got to my sister’s house anyway)  Even without tangle-free hair.  And I certainly couldn’t have planned the excitement that this would bring:

I don’t know why I ever worry beforehand. I really don’t. Yesterday, like every day, was not perfect. But it was perfectly imperfect. And it was lovely, and it was joy-filled. And that is – and forever will be – good enough for me.

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April 8, 2011 · 10:09 AM

Projects, my mom, and homemade pasta

The older I get, the more traits I realize I share with my mother.

My mom and I both are big fans of trying new projects. And we’re not little toe-dippers either. We get an idea, we get all excited, and the next thing we know we have closets full of… stuff… for jewelry making, wine making, lip balm making, scrap book scrapping, hair clip crafting, gold panning (although in my defense, the gold panning supplies were my husband’s idea)

I have a tendency to get a little too, well,  enthusiastic when I am struck with inspiration. You know how when you try a crazy or difficult new recipe, a sensible person would think, “This might not turn out right. We might not like this. I’ll just make a small batch?” Well my brain immediately tends to go to, “Pssssh, it’s a waste of time to make such a tiny amount. I’ll triple it.”

And it’s a vicious circle too, because every time my mom does something new, which is often, I can’t help but think, “Wow, that’s cool. I should try that.” And I often do. Recently she’s been making these beautiful pieces of wire jewelry, and has been etching glass for a year or two now.

Isn’t this beautiful?

I can’t apologize for my penchant for jumping headlong into new projects. Even if it sometimes means closets – and garages – full of abandoned supplies. Even if it sometimes means three giant batches of something that was supposed to be edible, but was in fact not edible, in the trash. Even if it sometimes frustrates my husband.

I really believe that it’s important to try new things, to keep learning, and to stay engaged (or get acquainted) with your creative side. I also think that it works out strongly in my favor that I share this belief with my mother. Because when she’s done with something, I get her hand-me-downs.

Yesterday, inspired by my big, huge list, I decided to pull out the pasta maker she gave me a few months ago (from where it had been sitting, untouched, in the garage.) While I was hunting for it, I came across the sewing machine, also from my mother and also untouched, that I was so excited to get… um, about 8 years ago.

Note to self: Sew something soon.

But first, PASTA!

The box had everything but the instruction manual, so first we had to Google. Then I carefully washed all the pieces, got it assembled, and put on Everett’s chosen shape. Two cups of flour, a couple tablespoons of olive oil, a little water, and one (homegrown) egg later, and we were in business.

There was one brief moment of panic when the motor completely shut off just as it started to extrude the noodles, but it was nothing a little troubleshooting and readjusting couldn’t fix.

And about an hour from the time I first got the machine out of the garage, we enjoyed our very first, very delicious, homemade pasta.

On a sad, and ironic, post note: After we all agreed that our future was going to hold lots of homemade pasta making, a critical inside piece of the machine (already stressed and weathered just from age) completely snapped and broke when it was being washed.

They don’t make the machine anymore. And they don’t sell replacement parts. 🙁

Oh well. I’m glad we got to use it, even once. Now I get to research buying a different kind, which is half the fun of a new project anyway.

And I really am going to sew something. Soon.

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March 6, 2011 · 9:12 PM

Moving Day

The kids wanting to be moved in the trailer

This weekend, we moved Mom and Dad into their new house, a larger house just a few houses down from their current one.  We made trip after trip, back and forth, stopping only to enjoy pizza, beer, and soda.  (And as a side note, who decided pizza and beer would be the official moving foods?  I don’t think I’ve ever helped with or participated in a move where we’ve eaten anything else?)  After we got most everything set up, Everett amused himself when he discovered that doing this:

Made his hair do this:

We all toasted with some champagne

And enjoyed the view

From their back patio

That’s Sedona in the distance

The boys loved helping carrying and moving – the heavier, the better.  Tegan has been fighting off a cold and cough for a few days now, so she wasn’t quite her normal animated self, but she took her responsibility to help with packing and loading boxes very seriously.  And she was, as always, ready for her close-up.

Mom, Dad, and their littlest princess

I’m excited to make new memories in the new house, and to have yet another place to watch the kids grow, play, and explore.

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March 3, 2011 · 11:39 AM

Arizona, Visitors, and Coming Full Circle

Every time someone hears that we used to live in New Hampshire, they ask the inevitable – and fair – question:  “What brought you to Arizona?”  And with few exceptions, my answer is a little bit different every single time.   Not because I’m unsure, but because there were just so MANY reasons, both large and small.  And what I’ve come to realize, and need to start telling people, is that the truth is really no more simple or complicated than this:  This is where our path has always been leading us… way back before there even was an “us”, way back before I painted that southwestern landscape picture in high school.  
This is just where we’re meant to be for now.  Will we stay here forever?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that as we’re approaching our sixth year, we have not even an inkling of being led to move somewhere else, a feeling that surfaced well before year number six in both Worcester, MA, and Andover, NH.  
When we moved, even though it was a positive move for us, there was some major external yuck that surrounded it.   There were strong reactions, and stronger words, and we ending up leaving with some severely hurt feelings…. and we were not alone.  It took some perspective that only time could provide, but I eventually came to see the situation from all sides.  And it just felt lousy all the way around.  I wished for a long time that I could delete it all, that I could go back and erase entire conversations, entire emails, entire periods of time.  I wished that I could forget, because I hated knowing that something that was originally so exciting for our family had gotten mired in such negativity and sadness for multiple parties.  
Fortunately, there’s sometimes truth to the cliche that states that time heals all wounds.  Time did in fact heal the wound.  The feeling of sadness about the way we parted ways with New Hampshire inevitably became replaced with feelings of happiness about our new life in Arizona.
The only reason that I am thinking of it now is that last week we saw Mike’s brother and his family for the first time since we moved here 5 1/2 years ago.  His parents have been here several times now, and his youngest brother came out two years ago, but Joe and Allison had not been here yet.   Although we’d all more-or-less kept in touch through Facebook (the blessing and curse that it is) I felt like we’d never truly “complete” with his family until we’d all actually SEEN each other again, in person, in a positive setting.   
And it really was a great visit.  Even looking from the outside you could see that.  
We went to the zoo

 Went off-roading

Went to the AZ Museum of Natural History

 Hiked in the red rocks of Sedona

Watched the newly acquainted cousins play and play 

Made cupcakes and cookies and pancakes with strawberries and whipped cream.
Went out to eat
Stayed up late and laughed.  A lot.
Beyond all of that though, it made me feel as though we’d come full circle.  It made me feel as though we’d simultaneously moved forward, and moved back…. not back to the way things were when we moved, but back before that, back before we’d even decided to move, back when things were simpler.   Back to those days a hundred years ago when we’d all hang out in Mike’s parents’ backyard on Sunday afternoons.  Only this time we all brought six more years of maturity, six more years of parenthood, six more years of perspective.  We got to watch our children meet for the very first time, and we got to catch up – for real, not in the way you catch up by reading 140 character status updates. 
We did much-needed things you just can’t do long distance, and I’m forever thankful that we got that opportunity.   It only took five and half years.

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February 24, 2011 · 11:17 PM

Cousins and Legos

Tonight my brother in law and his family are here from New Hampshire. It’s the first time they’ve been out to Phoenix since we’ve moved here, and it’s hard to believe that it’s been over five years. The kids wasted no time in getting to know each other…

Autumn & Tegan

And the big kids are currently bonding over Legos.

Tomorrow is a visit to the zoo, Saturday we hope to do Spencer’s postponed off-roading trip, and otherwise the plan is to hang out and catch up on 5 1/2 years.  

And it’s good.

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